ok I am the kinda pewrson that would give the shirt off my own back to help some ome I like to make ppl happy thenI got to thinking " Am I trying to buy friendship with material things" which leaves me broke in the process I WANT A REAL FRIEND ONE i CAN GO TO THIER HOUSE SIT AND VENT AND FOR THEM TO ACCEPT ALL OF "US" SOMEONE TO SAY HERE USE MY SHOULDERS IS THAT REALLY TO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK FOR?
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I understand wanting a "real" friend. I isolated for so long that I rarely had someone I could truly confide in. My sponsor and one person in my support group are people I can say anything to. It's something.
Hey Manon! yes it is very frustrating at times as we have spent years isolating,not trusting,severe paranoia,always looking for the"con" so in recovery we sometimes hang onto our stuff or just haven't formed that relationship! .I also have 1 person in my life(beside the God of my understanding)who I have shared all my dark secrets with,my sponsor!I have only 3 people left in my life I believe I could call on in any situation (1 is my wife)and for that I feel blessed.Hang in ,let people know how you feel and someone(beside the God of your understanding may end up "always there for you no matter what"Thats really big!!!!It may end up just being your Higher Power and certainly nothing wrong with that.Our expectations of what we 'would like for others to do" can keep us twisted when it doesn't pan out. Literature tells us we didn't get like this overnite, so easy does it!! In support and prayer.....peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
You know it sounds like it's not uncommon for us to have a small support group. I used to think people with alot of friends had alot of people they trusted/confided in. I have a close friend that always has alot of prople around him, alot of sponsees, just generally a social guy. It's hard to talk to him after a meeting because people are always lined up. I like him too, I see why they want to talk to him.
Last week I posted some relationship stuff on here and referred to an old friend that I began to share with again; it was him and he told me: "You know I miss talking all the time, since my divorce I don't have anyone but my sponsor I share with."
I was really surprised but trust, especially I think for us, is complex and we learn how to trust the trustworthy and let the rest go.
Great topic!
-- Edited by JoeB on Friday 27th of August 2010 08:42:12 AM
Manon,I understand,having a friend you can go let it all out with is important.They have to listen to all of your different personalities and understand them.It has to be hard for you to understand them and know which one is going to voice its thoughts through you.Take care I hope you find that person.Also I like your new avatar.!!!!!!
-- Edited by cdbuckberry on Friday 27th of August 2010 09:33:39 AM
