Hey Don, I looked at these issues from my own person and this is what I came up with for me. Over sensitivity- This reminds me of the 4 agreements 1st phase,Don't take anything personally--it is the ultimate espression of selfishness,in other words -thinking everything is about me! A totally backward way of how we think ,but so pertinent if you can incorporate it into your life..I definitely need work on this one..
Insecurity-come from my wanting to be maybe something other than I'm not.Will I be able to continue taking care of my family.be a father ,husband,parent ,friend,boss etc.Have I reached a point of where I am no longer of valure in some areas, like work,competitons, earning capacity,protective of what I have etc
Lack of Identity-spent a half of my life as an active addict,now spending other half of my life in recovery,I have have addict tendencies that I constantly work to rectify,sometimes feeling like 'THE WHO" when they sang, "can you see the real me ,can ya!
Just brief feelings on my emotions here but I have truly found that the key for me is like our literature and for me ,my faith beliefs, tell me, total surrender to my Higher Power,a simple concept but a lifetime of work.Everytime I get caught up in myself these emotions flourish.I get offended,upset,mad,pout,want to retaliate, etc when something is said about me or to me , I get nervous if I think I can't keep up any more with others expectations and at times I still am not sure who I am as a human being, but when I accept ,for me, that my God has a plan for me ,there is a reason I firmly blieve why I am still here and many of my friends(those I used with aren't) and my identity will be focused on being all that God intended me to be(and I have to seek that daily ,all day)Sharing with my sponsor,friends that share similar faith beliefs,sharing with those very close to me(my wife,my children,my 2 "true friends" that are left all help me trying to get past these emotions, but as always some days better than others. Says "active addiction"physical, mental and spiritual manifestations in all areas of our lives.......,and of course includes using drugs:) anyway this is just my stuff....no answers ,just what helps me. ramblin so Im out.......
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I know where the solution is. The 12 steps are designed to free us from the bonds of self. To liberate us from our past mistakes and teach us how not to make new ones. Surrender to my higher power will free us the bondage of self. I get the big picture, so to speak. It's the daily grind of doing it 'just for today' that gets tough. It's the 'doing the next right thing' even when my instincts pull me in exactly the opposite direction. I'm an addict. I want all I want RIGHT NOW!
Right nest to you on that Don,,Just for Today we'll continue moving forward,working in the solution,accepting our humaness and hoping the decisions,actions we took are in line with our Higher Powers will for us..Now that should be easy huh)NOT!!!)Have a blessed and productive day.......
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Will we become like the hole in the donut if we work towards selflessness ?
Most of us have a leveling of ego to go through and the steps definetly help with that, plus cleaning house, helping others helps. Is'nt it better to be able to serve and be useful to others there is a wonderful feeling in that but it takes selflessness.
Every time I think about getting past, beyond, over something, I think about the guy that told me there's know way around, or past recovery, there's no life beyond our issues, we have to pass through them.
I took that to mean that I developed the behaviors I've exibited due to the life (I chose?) around me. Most of my behaviors are mechanisms I developed to keep from getting "Discovered" as that person Mike described. Low self value, belief I'm bad, whatever.
I think that you're on the money with continuing the process through the steps. I used to think someday I'd "Arrive" somewhere like the train to Kathgodam in India, there's no more track to the North, just Himalayas.
Well that hasn't happened yet, and every time I start thinking I have arrived, I do something at 18 years clean even more stupid than I did at 18 months.
Let me know when you get past it and I'll follow you! thanks for sharing that.
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