Morning! We have spent a few days in reflection and prayer and have stepped back to allow the God of our understandings spirit and message to get through to us. As I had stated last Friday our 24 year od had relapsed,took a charge card and charged $1100.00 worth of gift cards,jewelery and items to sell.We spent the day in prayer and debate over whether we were going to send him to jail or not.It was a testing time but regardless of it being right or wrong we chose not to.If he is still shooting dope(he says he only did it the one day cause he missed his Methadone dose 100mg)he will put himself back in jail.He is on 5 years probation(meaning he needs to test clean each week)he is living in supported housing(stipulated by program attendence and contact with RSS almost daily and has Medicaid (that is constantly undergoing reevaluations)He has also been living on his own since July 6th and everything including all his medications(abilify,seraquil,OCD meds etc)are based on his ability to "show personal responsibilty" something that even during his 7 month "recovery period ' he wasn't showing.We have decided to totally "detach" from him and not the hanging on thread we have been guilty of(calling it support ,when it was more likely enabling)He has been told we expect payment on the theft(so much out of his bi-weekly check from RSS,that we will no longer allow him use of our cars to make any appointments,there will be no more $5.00 here $10.00 there for whatever's and our contact is broken off completely.He knows we love him and our hearts are saddened but his only entry back into our realm is by showing personal responsibilty by maintaining his own life in a non criminal manner,making amends and restitution and getting support for himself.We told him we will not bail him out of jail and he is not welcome in our home and thats a process that will be 'one day at a time"...GOD CAN BRING GREAT TREASURES OUT OF THE DARKNESS OF OUR LIVES,DON'T WASTE YOUR TRIALS! During this last week I called my sponsor and he shared with me he got married in Baltimore and 3 days later had to return for the funeral of his sister.My grand sponsor called me from Westchester Medical center and said though his brain clot was removed ,he was back in with swelling from fluid.We discussed trials and tribulations that are just daily parts of out lives and prayed together.Recovery and Relapse tells us"we are never forced into relapse,we are given a choice,it is a sign we have a reservation in our program..We isolate and revert back to our sickest behaviors without even having to use drugs.We believe that the God of our understanding,allowed things to occur so we would move out of the way and let His grace work,wherever that was going to lead for my 24 year old...My spirtual readings tell me.for if they fall,one will lift up his companion,but woe to him that is alone when he falls and hasno one to pick him up..We pray for knowlege of His will for us,we take action praying our decisions are in line with His will and we keep moving forward.WE DON'T USE!..God,the program of Narcotics Anonymous AND MY SUPPORT FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE will keep me focused on "not wasting the trials that we all attend to every day..Thanks for allowing me to share from my heart.It is good to be back,though I never really left..Have a blessed and productive day.....
-- Edited by MIKEF on Monday 26th of July 2010 12:23:51 PM
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I can't imagine having to make the kinds of decisions you were forced to deal with Mike. Last night I went to a celebration. 30 years clean for one of the pioneers of NA in our area. He gave the most inspirational talk I ever heard. It was wonderfully refreshing. Hang in there Mike. You and HP will make it.
I have a 17-year-old who abuses drugs and alcohol and has gotten into legal trouble. Though his situation is not as dire as your son's, I understand the pain you are feeling. Dealing with my son's drug addiction has been the most difficult thing I have faced in my 25 years of recovery. My thoughts and prayers go to you.
Thanks Dave,it has been a long journey but we continue to move forward,praying to make the right decisions and allow the God of our understanding to work out the results.I will work to stay in the solution thru God,our program of Narcotics Anonymous and support from all I reach out to and those reaching back....Support from our those here,my sponsor and my faith keep me hanging on.This truly has also been the test of my life and our families! There is a plan here and I'll be still as humanely possible and let it play out.......
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
