another lesson and another reason not to trust men he was nice said all the right things Igot suck into good thing it wasn' an emotional bond at the point in which we parted for that Iam grateful. As soon as I think Ifound one that would stick around he flips out and tries to force his way into my home. Had to call the cops but another bites the dust but I seem to be eating it alot lately when is enough enough? I can't say I understan this past year but I know Iam getting to be more aggressive which I can't say is a trait I want guess one of my charecter defect ;) AmI gonna be the little old lady in my recliner with 5 little taco bell dogs running a rpound added to that 6 more cats. I don't wanna be alone nbut i f theycan't handle my worst then they don't deserve my best; although I can say that till I am blue in the face but the fact is it hurt my feelings I don't know if me being able to get angry at situations in my life but it's there and full force FIGHT OR FLIGHT AND I AIN'T RUNNIN FOR SHIT!!!
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I understand well the fear of being alone. My wife was single for much of her life, but I have always had a significant other. She does alone very well. Reads, re-arranges things, shops etc. she can spend a blissful couple of hours playing solitaire on the puter while singing along, at the top of her lungs to b'way show's. I don't do alone well at all. Brood, feel sorry for myself, get depressed. Then of course I get stuck in the shit. "Move a muscle, change a mood" my sponsor says. It often works, but I have to be WILLING to move that muscle...For some reason I sometimes want to wallow in the sty slop of self indulgent misery. Our literature talks about "familiar pain" and how we gravitate toward it. I know I do. this disease sucks. It grabs you and won't let go. so I keep coming back. NA is the best solution I have ever found, and I have tried everything. So that's my message today "keep coming back"
Manon: I asked someone that exact question: I got a question that I still ask myself and an answer I believed then and now. The questions was: "Joe just becasue you're not in a relationship right now, why does that indicate you won't be in one when you're old?"
The answer I loved at the time and still do was: "You know if you continue to do this work Joe, you won't be bad company for yourself if you are alone when you're old."
I'm glad you're posting! It's pretty easy from here to see that you're gonna make it.
my experience was that I attracted "crap" guys for many years because I wasn't alright inside myself. I had a part in these horrible relationships I kept having with abusive men. So, I took a year in recovery to work on myself without the distraction of a relationship. I did the steps, completed a mental health program and did some real deep soul searching. When I could honestly say that I loved myself and was perfectly happy without anyone in my life, I attracted someone who who would treat me with respect I deserved. Yet having a healthy relationship is a lot of work on a daily basis, because since I've never had one of those relationships it's really hard to create one. Luckily we are both aware of this fact and try really hard to keep the honesty and communication open. Anyways that's a bit of whats been working for me.
Andrea
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people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
