I am dating a new guy we have been together since b4 july started met earlier in the summer little did I know he had a woman staying with him she still thinks they are together and she knows nothing of me. He stays here most nights; Although he lives in the front of the complex in his own apt. he is a good man and is kind to me, he says he is with me now but wants to tell her in his own time and in his way wants no conflicts between her and I. With all that I have been thru not only is my faith in God is gone my trust in men is futher gone \I have no social skills told him I did not like her staying wiith him told him the alternitives places for her to be without being in his home, I try to comnicate with him and he shuts me down i WILL NOT BE THE OTHER WOMAN AGAIN i DESERVE THE BEST AND IF HE CAN'T GIVE ME THAT THEN iAM GOING TO HAVE TO END IT I don't wanna be alone and I know Ideserve better but fuck what do I do he is the first man that has slept in my bed all year and b4 last year was my ex husband INSANITY AT IT'S FINEST IS MY FIRST THOUGHT BUT i FEEL FORSAKEN BY MY GOD you all are all Ihave to turn to for this some one please help me fix this so that she can be outta the picture or the next right thing what ever that might be
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Please do not loose faith in your higher power. I don't believe that God tests us and puts us through trials and tribulations I believe it is just dealing with life on life's terms. I know that my trials have allways been better when I rely on the god of my understanding. he doesn't promise to take away the pain but he promises to be with me throughout any pain I am suffering. As far a s relationships go I am not one to give suggestions there I would just say slow down and don't let anyone else make you feel less that what you are.
This is pure step one. "I am powerless over (my boyfriend, the other woman, etc.) You can't bend either of them to your will Manon. You can only do what is best for you. Calm your mind, pray, reflect on who you are and what your needs truly are. Then do what your heart says. peace
Manon: I was in the same boat as your new friend for many years. In my case I was afraid to be alone, so I had to find someone before I could let go of an old relationship. It was like a job to me, I always found one before I quit the other.
Every one of these relationships, two before I got clean and three after, ended. When they ended with the exception of the last one, I had someone that I thought would be "Better". It was an addictive cycle for me. Blissful, sexual, deeeeeeeep love, all the things that I want.
Someone explained to me that my brain releases chemicals that are completely related to sexual activity. It's natures intent that I procreate and that's the purose of these chemicals. Because I am an addict, my brain can't stop wanting more of something that feels good. That's where the insecurity I feel comes in, I always want to fel better; no matter what I'm feeling. These chemicals were meant for a short term purpose, to have sex and choose a mate.
My value system (heavy on the MY) is that I want a loving, trusting, lasting relationship, and I want to be with someone permanently! Once the chemical wears off I'm still with the person I experienced the HIGH with, and one other person: ME.
At 12 years clean I was calling my sponsor in a panic 3 or 4 times a day for several months, I got into therapy, I stayed with men who were trying to break the cycle of their own relationship issues. It took time and I experienced more pain than I ever experienced using. But I made it through the withdrawal.
I have to rely on God, prayer, meditation, you people OVER my first thought when it comes to relationships and my finances. My first thought is always wrong in both of these areas.
I'm glad you're posting and participating. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Manon,I don't blame you.You want to be the one and only woman.It is a trust factor, any relationship is.Security is part of relationships.Be sure you don't need to be hurt again by a relationship.
One thing I have learned is that I can work steps around anything - and if I am looking for solutions - then I must be honest - and if I am honest - I am clear what I am receiving - Only then can I truly walk in freedom and faith - and with that - I get to walk in truth - So all in all - Be good to yourself - no man/women/ anything should be placed before you - So if insanity is already setting in and its been such a sort time - you might want to take a look at that.. hope that helps
interesting enough I was walking my dog last night and the words "why have you forsaken me" not trying to be religous just it came to mind well Iread where that came from and found hope cause my HP did answer my question I do believe in divine intervention and I got my answer that was helpful towards the faith Iwas afraid Ilost as for the new boyfriend he told her in front of me that she needed to start looking for alternitive living arrangments plus he sleeps here every night most the time anyway but I actually gave resources for hewr to get the help she needs to get on her feet he told her he was with me and things were over with them I think one of you said you went from one to another but had to have a bck up I used to do that it seems he does the same but all is calm now my brain can rest....my faith has been restored in my hp
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
