I receive a bill in the mail today for MACY'S.I have an old card but havent used it as we are trying to stablizie ,pay off and then get rid of all cards..Surprised I open it up.314.00 balance,,,3 entires $10.00 (ciagarettes) 1 entry $211.00 sTOP &sHOP ,SUPPOSEDLY GROCERIES,$67.00 K MART(JEWELERY) oiMMEDIATELY CALLED macy's ,sure enough card is maxxed $500.00 in credit.. Eric says yeah ,i was gonna pay you when I got my public assistance check,blah,blah,,Missed my dose (100mg) methadone last sunday so went a copped a bundle.but now back on juice etc..I saw the reservations happening,missed appointments,missing clinic,missing group,etc,but there it is..Please join my wife and I in prayer as we debate 'are we sending 'JAIL,,CALLING PROBATION AND DOING WHAT i KNOW WE SHOULD BE DOING..i AM REALLY HAVING A HARD TIME WIH THIS,BECAUSE OF THE LULL of recovery we were seeing...,RELAPSE IS PART OF OUR PROCESS FOR SOME,BUT TO ROB YOUR PARENTS AGaIN and then tell fish tales is not just about the drug ,its about how we use everything,people ,places and things.he is very sick.......Thanks for sharing this pain with us and I'll let you know where we end up...I am very worn out but I will put this in the hands of my God and try and getout of the way.I am afraid, angry,sad, and struggling but with work We'll be okay.......Life keeps blasting away and all I have to cling to are my faith beliefs and spiritual principles....God gives us strength....thanks,
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Having no kids, I will not be able to share anything but my own experience. In 1987 I lived in a trailer next to my mother. I was a 29 year old man who'd walk next door and tell my 71 year old mother some new lie so I could borrow her car to drive the 38 miles to the Methadone clinic in Fort Worth. I hated being me.
When I stopped making payments on my trailer house she moved out of her old house and into a house next to my sister 16 miles away. She was done loaning me stuff and couldn't stand to say know to me. I tell you now I hated myself and couldn't stand the sight of her.
When she passed in 1999 I had 10 years clean and she was in a chair eaten up with cancer, she looked more like E.T. Than my mother, I told her I was headed to work and I'd be back after work. I will never forget the look of pride on her face when she nodded yes go to work at me.
I have no idea how many scenarios there are that could have played out in my life but I posted something my Master said in 2004: "To surrender to God is to surrender to everything in the universe."
Oh Oh Oh. How this truly sucks. I so feel for you Mike. There is no pain like the pain we get from our kids. Let God be your guide. Let us know how it goes. Thanks for sharing.
This disease robs, maims, and kills. If we enable, it seems a piece of us and piece of them dies. If we do not enable, it seems a piece of us and piece of them dies. Because until it is arrested and in remission and the mind is becoming restored, this disease is a killer and we all die a bit, piece by piece, as long as it is active in us or in our loved ones. Prayers for you and yours.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
