So here is my little dilemma that I would appreciate some advice on, or someone share their experience with it.
So I was working in the auto industry and I recently lost my job. I depend on my job to survive in life and since I was not making good money I was really living cheque to cheque. I think god works in mysterious ways but this one I don't really understand who sent it (god or the work of an evil spirit). As soon as I lost my job another one fell on my lap. I am going to the orientation on Monday where I will find what kind of hours and what I will actually be doing. The issue is that it's a pharmaceutical manufacturing plant that does make a whole variety of narcotics that I used to use on a regular basis. This makes me worried, even though I have worked one full set of steps and currently on step four of my second. I know I need the money and where I live jobs are very hard to come by so I should be blessed that I received another job but working around these pills scares me. I haven't used in a few years and I haven't had any desire in over 2 years. I don't know any thoughts would be welcomed thanks
Andrea
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people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
Tough call. Nothing is worth relapse. It could be that the security is such that you wouldn't be able to get any of the pills. It could also be that your job would be in a place without access to the nasty stuff. Give it a shot, stay close to your sponsor and support group. You can make a decision when you know more.
"...narcotics that I used to use on a regular basis. This makes me worried..."
The heart of the matter for me would be to ask myself if I have a cell in my body that can still rationalize me being connected to my drugs. Sometimes it's the head stuff that's the danger, not just physical proximity to the stuff.
If so, I, myself, and me are in bad company...and I best intensify my interactions with the program and the steps.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Hey Drugfree,good to see you and good you are checking things out.If you have questions in your mind then proceed with caution.I know I still played drums in nite clubs,bars etc when i first begn recovery and everyone was always toasted.It was difficult but I eventually grew tired of the environment,being clean and sober in a niteclub,smoke filled room with people who coudln't talk at 4:00 a.m. just wasn't what I wanted to be around anymore.I would say ,give it a shot,maybe you will be working away from direct contact,maybe you can request something other than stuffing pills(not sure what your gonna do) and then weigh the options.Keep sharing your thoughts and "run away" if you start to itch..good luck ,good seeing ya! stay close with your Higher Power and remember there is no temptation unto man that has not been given but God will not let you be tempted beyond what you are able to bear without giving "you" a way out...(paraphased from my spiritual readings) peace...
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
This reminds me of the time aboyt four months ago when I had to make a decision. A restraunt was offering me a job three nites a week to play sax. This seemed to be the answer to my prayers for some financial stability. I was just about deciding "yes" when some trusted friends asked me to look at it closely. In fact, my friend Don even suggested being critical in eveluating whether this was actually the best answer to my prayers. So I did.
I did take up that job and found myself recovering financially, but also had to keep sharing issues that came up. Though that place served alcohol, I was in now way disturbed. There was an incident with the manager where I was totally against her suggestion. I walked out the place and came back when serene and discussed things with her.
I then realized, after discussing with others that she was usually like this; controlling, overbearing etc. and that evening I was at the other end of her power space.
And yes, she was a bit drunk I think. Later on we made up etc.... From that job, Ive grown because I play solo there and Ive become aware of facets of myself and my music talent I dod not know of,,,,
Lost dreams awaken and new possiblities arise....
I think these situations need to be wriotten about too. What remains hidden when talking or thinking suddenly emerges when writing or still better, MEDITATING !!!
Baby,, it works,,
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
well I"m off to the first night of work. I've decided to at least give it a try. I'm not exciting to work midnights and that in itself should be difficult. Thanks for the feedback it gave me a bunch to think about
Andrea
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people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
Remember to tell yourself,, just for today,, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using and have found a new way of life; so long as I follow that way, I have nothing to fear.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
