I have been clean for over two years now. I have seperated myself from everyone who is involved with meth or cocaine. Every day seems to be a struggle for me. It has been over two years now and there is not a day where I would turn it down if it were offered to me. How long will this last? I ask people I know who have recovered from drug addiction and they say that they would never do it again. Why am I stuck in this place? How long will it take for me to stop craving it every day?
Different storkes for different folks Bo,, thanks for sharing true feelings.
As an addict, I may crave for drugs but transfer that onto other objects and events. I maynnot use my drug of choice or other narcotics but may actually puruse other objects and events as I did in my dis-ese; being obssessed and acting out compulsively. I may justify erratic and erratic behaviour by saying "Ive stayed clean", claiming that as long as Ive stayed clean this day, Ive been doing something right and ignore the insanity that goes with addictive behaviour.
Recovery as experienced thru our 12 Steps is our goal and not mere physical abstinence, says the Basic Text.
Just for today, I will not leave the ground of recovery !!.
-- Edited by Raman on Saturday 17th of July 2010 04:24:22 AM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Our literature says that any addict can lose the desire to use drugs. That includes you. I would suggest re-working steps 1 and 2. Total surrender to the disease of addiction, and belief that only a power greater than you and your disease can restore you may bring you the relief you seek. You have a reserve of strength that few people I know have. There aren't many folks I know who could have cravings everyday for two years and not have acted on those cravings. You can do this.
Welcome BoBo......I am glad you have not picked up again,even though the urges are there.Are you making meetings,working with a sponsor or doing any service work?We have to remember to roll the tape all the way to the end...I would suggest continuing to stay around people in recovery hopefully in and out of the rooms..Find your Higher Power and surrender everyday!Let us know how your doing!!!
-- Edited by MIKEF on Saturday 17th of July 2010 08:01:00 AM
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Much of craving is due to brain changes, some of which will never totally go away and we have to learn to live with.
Mine are permanent and I HAVE TO-MUST-will die if I don't: make meetings, work the steps, eat right & exercise (both huge factors in preventing a slide into the relapse process), and change EVERYTHING in my life to keep me away from drugs, drug users, drug scenes etc. Even certain music, smells, movies, are bothersome.
Not that bad for everyone, but I've had to stay vigilant for over two decades to stay clean that long, and I swear if I were in the wrong place at the wrong time, I would probably use. Step One: I am powerless over addiction (but not helpless-big difference.)
So I do everything I can to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and to be sure I am right with my program on a daily basis, and MOST OF the time I"m on solid ground. It took me five years for actual (periodic) cravings to completely go away. A day at a time, the time passes and we are better for it.
-- Edited by LeeU on Sunday 18th of July 2010 01:40:55 PM
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
