Just like our JFT writings we get here daily(thanksDon) My morning spiritual readings always seem to have a guideline for the day or just life in general.Today tells me"How have I bought into the lie that I can't change my out of control emotions? SAYS,, Self control is as popular as root canal!!(like that) It is a fruit of the spirit and a gift of grace. GOD STRAIGHTFORWARDLY EXPECTS US TO EXERCISE SELF CONTROL. What about self is it we need to control?Every aspect of our lives,especially our emotions..When I am hot,tired,cranky and just human and I want to bite your head off cause of something, I'll step back and apply this thought"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies:for the hardest victory is over self..(Aristotle).I can certainly hear that,now time to pay attention!! Have a blessed and productive day. Stay cool we're have a mini heat wave up in here.(NY)....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Mike: I am right in there with you. I'll tell you now that my behaviors that drove me to start seeking help from my Higher Power daily and in fact the pain that helped me seek out sharing on this board was a relationship with a younger lady. I won't go into the boring detail but it was not healthy form me or her. I left a good relationship to chase someone who wasn't through with games (and obviously I wasn't either). It felt like love, you know? I'm sure I cared for her but I was not accepting of anything. And I knew it was unhealthy.
That was about 5 months ago. Well she started texting me again last night, trying to get back together. The knot in my stomach that I had the whole time we were together is back. 21 years no dope and I know this is not only not good for me but it's not what I want.
Well I returned the text with go to a meeting, I pray for you, things like that but I'm on the edge not to take it further.
The lady I left for this relationship is back in my life, wanting to be serene and together, wanting to share stuff with me and no drama. She's also the person I want to be with. But my head goes to the drama.
My mind's made up, no matter what I ain't gonna contact this person anymore. I deleted the numbers and don't have them. I've invited my HP into this several times, the bottom line is: Don't go there Joe, your mind is lying about it.
I'm going to copy this as a single post too so others can see where I'm at. Thanks for sharing!