Tonight I attended the wake of a person I came to know through the program and by association with my son while he attended Drug Court.This person was one of the very few to complete our Drug Court system here in upstate New York ,a diversion program that can keep you from Jail while working treatment.Many end up quitting and doing their bids rather than work on responsibilty factors and recovery issues.They find jail much easier.Anyway,this person ,a friend I came to know,did the program in 18 months and was clean for over the last year or so.I saw him at my homegroup 2 weeks ago.He seemed okay and mellow as he always was. He genuinely had a mellow spirit!He lived with a friend of mine, who is still alive,back from our active days, who found him od'ed with a spike in his arm and dead for awhile. I only share this with you as a grim reminder that this disease is always lurking and waits patiently and we all are always one bad decision away from devastation.I can only pray for peace for those he left behind. I can diligently pray for each and everyone of us to remain vigilante,and to not just call,but scream for help when we need it!Life is fleeting and we have lived a thousand lifetimes in our addiction and can only identify once again with the thought that ' There but by the grace of God, go I' I will spend reflection on the times we shared in recovery,laughed and loved and a Power greater than I will work out the rest.This was not meant to be a morbid moment ,as life is what it is, and though death has always surrounded us in our addiction, when it is close it is always a sobering reminder.Thanks to all for letting me share my emotions,I shared the same with my sponsor and we prayed together. talk to you on the rebound......peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
May peace be upon his soul Mike, thanks for sharing, and for the reminder!
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
It seems that relapse and overdosing go hand in hand. thanks for the share Mike. It's proven time and again that education and knowledge are no protection against this disease. Only change at the most basic level of our personalities will work. Just for today.
Thanks for sharing such a sad sad story. I wish that family peace after losing there son. This disease is always lurking in us just waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on us and make us fail. The thoughts to use can hit us like a ton of bricks sometimes. I wish you peace at such a time of sadness.
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If you question which way to go on a road turn one direction and start going, if you don't feel peace then turn around and go another direction for its when you feel peace you know you are on the right road!
Mike: Thanks for sharing that. The longer I'm here the closer I am to making it, or going back out; same decision faces me every day.
I agree that it seems when people go back out they are even more intense than ever. I'm glad you're able to experience and share your emotions, it makes me more comfortable doing the same.
