Hey Delta,,very good questions,Congratulations on your work and you should be proud of your accomplishments.One thing we have to be aware of from both sides of the coin(I SHARE THIS AS AN ADDICT AND FATHER OF AN ADDICT)is to not let resentments start creeping into our lives and I may be reading into this,but I can feel some underlying things going on with you and rightly so.For me and my wife ,having boundaries and consequences to adhere to these boundaries and agreements always helped keep everything up front,so first of all we are "communicating" these issues with each other..I know for me "i'll probably always be somewhat of a "drop your clothes where they are guy,clean up eventually,and do things that my wife may want done in a different capacity(time frame etc).Put clothes where they belong,clean up sooner than later etc.By communication levels with each other even if Im not quite on it,I am aware and continue to 'get better" in areas that work for both of us..In my sons case it was more rigid,there will be no "works " in the house, no using,you'll take responsibility for your existence and please help out around here.If you dirty it,clean it,if you make a mess,if you want something special or when we need a hand be available.We can't force anyone but by continually referring back to an "agreement plan" it helped us eliminate screamfests,resentments and insanity.You have already set guidelines for your husband's being at home with you and what situations have to occur for it to work for the family.Continue on honestly before it gets to "war".... Like listen Honey(your choice of endearments!!:) I am going to need help around here,I feel when you arent helping it.(whatever)I also am feeling annoyed or whatever when Im doing and you arent, this is a team thing here and if it wasnt before then maybe we can work toward that now.,but be firm of what you are asking for...Is this easy,no but doable yes,,Your program tells you about 'enabling,doing for,etc so you have some tools.I find when I get things out in open and everyone at least hears whats going on it becomes easier to work toward a solution.I am by no means a "DR PHIL!! so this is just my stuff and things that have helped in our household and lives.Honesty ,as we say in our literature is the antidote to diseased thinking,so try and share honestly how you are feeling,without blame or assault etc and see if strides can be made.I always pray first in all my endeavors for any situation which kind of helps me stay as God centered and real as I can humanely be. Share at your support group or with your sponsor also and listen for suggestions,Remember everyone willl always have advice but you have to do the living with ,around and in the situation so in your own way and your own time,with prayer,you can reach a point that is helpful and can keep moving forward(remember you are also in recovery)..Let us know how its going.didnt mean for long diatribe,but lot of this stuff still close to me(living it)peace...