last may 16th i received my first year coin, two days later i relapsed. in the 5 weeks following i have relapsed 3 more times. i came here for more recovery. last night i was reading someone's story on here about how they relapsed and i was astonished on how much love everyone here gave them. no lecturing ,crude remarks ,or fault pointing, but a message of hope.
my higher power is telling me that i need to receive this message by any and all means... and being a good 3rd stepper, ill do what my higher power suggests.
i threw out my works and dope last night. Read about 5 to 6 stories, the first 3 steps (the basic text), the other first 3 steps (it works: how and why), and i honestly surrendered, for today at least.
I feel more willing to develop a relationship with my higher power than i did that entire first year. as it says in the text, "a relapse may be a jarring experience that brings about a more rigorous application of the program" i want it now and i know it.
so perhaps someone has a story about their relapse? methods of which they recovered from that? (there's only two in the basic text and hardly any online)
maybe just a topic of hope, maybe surrender, or the 3rd step
Thank you for sharing - I know for me - being a chronic relapser - I finally had to get the "we" thing - that made a huge difference - and also believing to my core belief that I could no longer "use" no matter what - That really made the difference - I had a lot of knowledge about recovery and even more about relapse - but nothing on "We" - hope that helps
Hey chapterseven! welcome....relapse is not part of my story.After 25 years of devastation,there were no options for me,it was surrender or die.I had finally had enough.You know our literature tells us that 'relapse is not the shame ,the shame is not making it back!!Glad your here.Yes "we" can do this together/I spent many years on my own working "abstinence" but not recovery,it is a major difference.Narcotics Anonymous was the answer for me.of course with the God of my understanding guiding my way.The message is hope and the promise is freedom from active addiction.I found out in our 3rd step it is subtle but it says "we turned over our will and our "lives' over to the care of God.Thats all parts of our lives( as fathers,brothers,son's,husbands,employees,friends,etc),not just the ones we think we dont have control of..That helped me know that this illness is in all areas of my life,not even in just the drug,(obviously that got to go)Let us know how its going.Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.You can find a new way to live.Takes work,but ;ONE DAY AT A TIME" "WE" can do this thing!!!peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Welcome home! If I can stay clean anybody can. Man I relapsed for 10 years. My first clean date was November 22, 1979 and my current one is April 3, 1989. I thought I wasn't ever gonna make it. I had truly just about given up. But those hard heads at NA didn't, no matter what I said or did they kept telling me I could do it and they had a feeling about me this time. Every time I re-established somebody would say they had the feeling I was going to make it.
I like the italics part of "What can I do." The sentence where: Minutes will grow to hours, and hours to days... That gives me hope in the darkest hours of my life!
i having been honestly exhausting myself with stepwork and literature. I can't exactly sleep yet and my arms still hurt.(a lot) but thank god that all you need to to get a message of hope is a book and a bed. I have read somewhere between 100 to 125 pages, been rigorously honest in rooting out my reservations, and even kept my attitude content throughout my entire comedown. I surrendered my feelings of depression and shame and traded them in for humility instead
my meetings is in about 3 more hours...i can not wait to get another key chain.
i havnt even talked to my sponsor about this all yet, at least i know im doing it for myself this time.
its true....we really do develop willingness over a period of time. took me about 10 hours of rigorous work until i got to the point where i was 100% honest again :) thank god
Welcome to our loving, caring support group. I think getting and staying clean is all about surrender. We all think we have surrendered when we first start to freely come around, but for many, myself included it takes a relapse for that surrender to be real. It sounds like this is the real deal for you. Keep coming back and let us know how your doing.
