seems very complicated and impractical, but then I know that it's my addiction talking, distancing me away from having to try out such spiritual principles lol... and I know from my own experiences of working the Program in my daily life that it's actually quite simple to be so, the complication lies within me, in my sickness, not in the principle or the practice of it
Thanks for that Vini, big hugs!
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
My self centerdness is still pretty much alive and well. By going through the steps I'm turning that around little by little, but self-less-ness? Hmmmm gotta way to go b4 I get there by golly.
So i call this morning to leave a message and admitt I was wrong for expecting and wanting anything from this person, 10th step admitt when i'm wrong and I was selfish for expecting ANYTHING from this person, I need to rely on 1 thing and 1 thing only and thats God , my higher power because I will ALWAYS get what I need from that source of power. Amen
-- Edited by BigV on Sunday 20th of June 2010 12:13:28 PM
I agree this is an excellent topic. I dunno though..... Expectations can often lead to trouble, but in a long term meaningful relationship there will always be expectations. It's not selfish to expect something from your partner. Relationships are all about sharing and sharing responsibilities is part of that. It doesn't always have to be deep stuff, little things like making sure the dog is fed and walked. Making the bed, washing the dishes etc. The little things we come to expect from each other make us comfortable and confident with the relationship. I think that's why al and nar-anon got started. the non addict partner never knew what to expect...who was walking through the door that evening was a nervous daily question. Of course we form expectations about the big things too. I expect my wife to be faithful to me. She expects the same. We each appreciate and expect respect. There are a million expectations that make for a successful relationship. The problem comes when our self centered, fear based, ego driven disease is in control. Then we are sure to hit a brick wall. Often the same one we hit last time. Then one day, we truly surrender, we get honest and admit that we are powerless. We identify our defects and come to believe that only He...not we can overcome the shortcoming. That is how we grow. It comes in bumps and crashes, but we survive and we go forward. If our surrender is genuine, and we find a measure of humility and trust in our program and with our higher power, then we grow. It often hurts, but it seems like it's the only way.
