yesterday was a day where my unmanageability reared it's ugly head big time. This morning I woke up with that knot in my gut that I used to have all the time but was lifted from me by my higher power through the steps of NA. I prayed for God to do for me what I could not do for myself. Within the hour the pain was gone, and I had a good day. Just another miracle courtesy of the program of Narcotics Anonymous
surely for another day clean for the wonderful Program that I can make use of for the good food, sleep, shelter, decent clothes for my wife, mother, brothers, sisters, friends for a meeting that is available to me everyday for my Higher Power's care
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Always,everyday, as my eyes open,my thankfullness for another day to do the will of my Higher Power with diligence,awareness and joy.As soon as I leave my bed,the adventure begins,and if my armor is on tight,Im usually pretty good,when it starts to loosen up ,I got to pay attention!!Some days better than others ,but all better than any day using(even when I thought I liked it) .
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
MANY THINGS HAVE CHANGED SINCE I CAME INTO RECOVERY & GOT SOME SPIRITUALITY INTO MY LIFE. I HAVE LEARNED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OWN WAY & LET MY HIGHER POWER TAKE OVER. I AM EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR THE OPENMINDEDNESS TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS. I USED TO MAKE DECISIONS AND ACT ON THEM WITHOUT TAKING TIME TO THINK ABOUT THEM BEFORE HAND. INEVITABLY I PAID HUGE PRICES FOR THESE QUICK DECISIONS.
I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 17YRS NOW, & IT HAS BEEN SIX YRS IN THE SAME PLACE OF RESIDENCE. BEFORE THAT I HAD MOVED 39 TIMES IN A SPAN OF 28YRS. IT IS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME TO HAVE STAYED IN MY PRESENT HOME FOR THIS LONG. RECOVERY HAS GIVEN ME THIS. IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO MOVE DUE TO THE CONDITIONS IN MY BUILDING. ORIGINAL WIRING FROM 1945, ALCOHOLICS FALLING ASLEEP WITH CIGARETTE IN HAND. ALL NEW TENANTS AROUND ME WITH NO CONCEPT OF THE WORD RESPECT, THE THOUGHT OF DYING IN A FIRE HERE ALARMS ME GREATLY. THERE SEEMS TO BE MORE & MORE ROAD BLOCKS COMING UP PREVENTING ME FROM MOVING NOW. TODAY I KNOW THAT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS KEEP FAITH IN MY HIGHER POWER, DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO CHANGE THINGS, & HE WILL PUT THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN MY PATH TO HELP ME.
I AM REALLY GRATEFUL FOR MY PREDECESSORS HELPING ME TO BELIEVE IN A HIGHER POWER. THE OLD ME WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A BAD CASE OF THE " F " ITS, & GONE BACK OUT. AFTER ALL, USING WAS MY WAY OF SOLVING ALL MY PROBLEMS.
THANK YOU ALL FOR MY RECOVERY. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH PAPER OR INK TO LIST ALL THAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR.
-- Edited by TRLBLZR on Wednesday 9th of June 2010 05:44:04 PM
1. Im am not caught up in ways and means to get more. 2. I have clean clothes. 3. I enjoyed a nice meal with my daughter. 4. That I am aware and can enjoy the birds singing outside of my window as I write this. 5. That I have a dentist appointment in the morning and have learned to take care of myself a little better. 6. That I am closing on my first house in 8 days! (Wow....long way from the projects thanks to you guys!) 7. That even thou I choose to be alone, I know I'm not alone.
I am grateful that I am clean today I am grateful that I don't have to "jones" any longer I am grateful I am not afraid to cross the street in the daylight - afraid of being seen by those who love me I am grateful I actually have working thumbs - not burnt thumbs from using a lighter to get high I am grateful I am not homeless, penneyless and drawless I am grateful that I truly have a GOD that loves me inspite of me I am grateful that I have friendships I am grateful that I have a wonderful partner I am grateful that I have NA I am grateful that I believe in the truth today I am grateful that I can be present in my life and those I love I am grateful that I can breath I am grateful that I have found freedom in working the 12 steps of NA I am grateful that I don't have to give of my whole self in order to live
I'm grateful that both of my children are healthy and happy and doing well in the world. My son just called me and told me he got tenure at his teaching position, and my daughter recently told me that she and her husband have decided to try and have a baby. I couldn't be happier for them. It makes me feel that perhaps I did something right back in the day.
1. That I made it through a tough work week. 2. That I continue to be amazed when I get the message that seems to be just for me when I attend meetings. 3. That I have people in my life that remind me HP always has a plan and the outcome is what's best for me. 4. Even thou I have only been in my new area for 18 months addicts are willing to miss a day of work to help me move into my new house. 5. That people in my life help me ask for help when I am to scared to. 6. That I have this site to keep me connected since there are only three NA meetings a week up here. 7. That I got the reminder post about this site. 8. Last but not least....that I am clean and have found a new way of life.
Grateful to my Higher Power for blessing us with a good doctor who takes such good care of me and my wife with our health problems.
Grateful to be a part of the H&I Meeting this morning.
Grateful for a good lunch
Grateful for the email I received today from one of Sponsees that lifted me, was feeling a bit down due to no business in the last one week.
Grateful for the understanding from my wife when I had to cancel a chore I was supposed to run with her this morning. One of the H&I Speakers backed off at the last minute and I had to go...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
