slowing down is a big thing to me my disease just don't quit so i take a step back have a good breath read a little blue book get my head right then i go out and do the things normal people take for granted being ever vigilant that i don't run into the slackwarts and get side trcked i have fun with my addictions least they have fun with me
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
I used this slogan a lot as a newcomer, especially when I was clean now and wanted to make up for all the years and things lost to using. I wanted to take up multiple educational courses, land up on a big job etc. I wanted my family to be different, and understanding, now that I'm clean... I wanted to get back to my social life, I wanted to be disciplined and so on... the harder I tried, the difficult it became for me to imagine a life clean. Something or the other broke me down and led me back to using time and again...
Just yesterday, I was feeling overwhelmed by the 'things-to-do' list for the day. Then there was a storm followed by heavy rainfall. Water came in flooding the floors of my living room and kitchen. I had to do something, I mopped. I just surrendered and mopped. I didn't know I could mop so well until yesterday, I was like 'hey I can do it too'
Next, I let in a streetdog that lives by my place, played with it for a while, listened to Dire Straits, and made a Step Study Meeting on Step 4. When I went to bed, I was so pleased with the day, I stopped being dissatisfied with what I was 'supposed' to do, and I loved what I ended up doing, like Rocky shared above, many times in recovery, in the middle of the daily spins of life, a breather is all it takes...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Easy does it is good advice. Problem for me this week is that with my back hurting, all I can do is take things easy. I'm moving around a little more each day, but I have been here before and I know it is a slow process. I did get out to a meeting yesterday, and man did I need it. It was a big lift for me. But today again, I need to not do much. It's truly a one day at a time scenario for me.
Hey Bret! thanks for the reminder.I think I shared awhile back about feeling like this "last quarter crisis"want to make up for million things I didnt do when active(really dormant)I am starting to chill a little but I know I only sleep about 6 hours cause I don't want to loose anytime!!! Im working on that....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I feel your pain ! I have had back and knee problems for years and it seems to now be way worse...probably due to the fact that I dont have drugs in my life to mask the pain anymore. It has been a difficult path to follow but I know it will get better.
