"We want to be free of our guilt, but we don't wish to do so at the expense of anyone else."
Basic Text, p. 40
Let's face it: Most of us left trails of destruction in our wakes and harmed anyone who got in our way. Some of the people we hurt most in our addiction were the people we loved most. In an effort to purge ourselves of the guilt we feel for what we've done, we may be tempted to share with our loved ones, in gruesome detail, things that are better left unsaid. Such disclosures could do much harm and may do little good.
The Ninth Step is not about easing our guilty consciences; it's about taking responsibility for the wrongs we've done. In working our Eighth and Ninth Steps, we should seek the guidance of our sponsor and amend our wrongs in a manner that won't cause us to owe more amends. We are not just seeking freedom from remorse-we are seeking freedom from our defects. We never again want to inflict harm on our loved ones. One way to insure that we do not is by working the Ninth Step responsibly, checking our motives, and discussing with our sponsor the particular amends we plan to make before we make them.
Just for Today: I wish to accept responsibility for my actions. Before making any amends, I will talk with my sponsor.
I get this. I could be so self centered that in attempting to make up for a past transgression, I immediately begin sowing the seeds of a new one. Ouch!..........my head hurts
Morning Everyone! Spent the last few hours praying for the spirit of God to fill my whole being.What a blessing! I hear ya Don!Got to be careful we don't create another whole set of amends to make cause we didnt think deep enough what our purpose was in working the 9th.I followed my list format for the 8th and concentrated on the nature of the harm caused and what my defects were in that situation. For me, my list consisted of the person or thing(business/organization etc/relationship to the person or thing /nature of the harm I caused/the defect that caused the harm/and where my forgiveness lies in the work.If I can't forgive than I can't move on(not about forgiveness from who I harmed only reparation on my part)..My sponsor and I worked some wonderful situations out for each person on my list that I needed to make amends with and couldnt personally(people who were dead/no longer able to get in touch with/more harm than good scenarios and how to do to the best of our abilty,that is what amends do I need to make and then actualy doing it... Freedom and spiritual principles guided by the God of our understanding. Keep on pushin' straight ahead!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
