Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself... I'm Reesa. Addict age 24 (wow, looks different in writing). 77 days sober. I guess what prompted me to come here, as opposed to another board I frequent, was I wanted more thoughts on something.
Yesterday, I drove to the beach (about 3 hours away) to just have some me time. Sun, sand, waves, peacefulness. And although I was glad to be there, I was tense. Something just wasn't... there. And I started thinking about the last time I was here... last summer... under the influence of who-knows-what.
Is it just me? Or does it feel weird doing something that you used to do high, when you're sober?
Hey Ressa! Welcome to our forum...glad you stopped in! People .places and things can be reminders of where we were and draw us back IF WE ARE NOT FOCUSED...Although I have been clean going on 26 years there are places that I have revisited and remembered events of using, it can be weird.Keep your focus on your recovery(congrats 77 days a miracle for any of us)Remember we lived our lives doing a lot of things we will also do free from substance abuse(for me 25 years worth) so I'll never be able to not do something or be somewhere or maybe even around someone who reminds me of those times,but I will remain vigilante and If I have any thoughts taking me away from my recovery I dig deeper,practice spiritual principles(taught thru the program) and put my trust in my HP..I am hoping you are 'working a program" of recovery and sharing with a sponsor and 'living your life accordingly!Keep coming back,we need you.....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
NA Welcomes you - and congrats on your clean time - It is important - and of course you would feel something - cause you are doing something different - as long as you don't pick up - you will probably feel awkward doing alot of things - chalk it up as doing something that is good for you - Me time is always good - your body just remembers the past - very normal - have a wonderful day!
Hi Reesa, I can relate. I used to go fishing allot on some local ponds. For me fishing was synonymous with using. I've been clean about 7 months. Several times in these past months I've set out to go fishing but never did. I know it was because of the weird feeling I got in my gut when I set out to go. After reading your post and thinking about my situation, I may go fishing just to do it clean. I love fishing... I really think we need to be honest with ourselves and stay away from places or activities that have a strong identification with using. But at some point, it's time to face the fear and do it. I think my time may be approaching. Thanks allot for this post. Please keep coming back I would love to hear more from you.
I guess now it would make sense that I would have those feelings when I did something that I used to do when using... But I never thought it through. I'm hoping after this first trip to the beach that was weird feeling, the next time I go, I'll remember that I've done this sober, and it's great :)
I can relate in the sense that I've been listening to a particular kind of music throughout my using years, and I did feel that discomfort when I tried to listen to this music when I was clean. In fact, it seemed to trigger me with a craving to use... in my despair to recapture that familiar feeling from many years...
I gave myself some time, worked my Steps, completed a year or more in NA, and then when I went back to that music, I found that I could enjoy it all in an even better way... I found that I did not need to get high, in fact, I never actually got to enjoy the music with my naturally gifted sensory powers due to my using. Today, I listen to this music, I use it as a release, to shake off my negativity, and I find myself ecstatic at times by music, a natural high
