Hi, I'm an addict from Quebec (Canada). I just lost my long life recovering sponsor. He's not dead, we just spited up like an old couple who had tried everything. I'm a 28th years old man recovering and clean since january 11th 2002 (8 years). I have a god in my life, I work the steps, do some meetings regularely and have some sponcees. I might say I'm starting to feel kind of alone in a way. Except for that old man, I'm the oldestly clean addict in my life. There are others but I'm not sure they are ok as sponsors, as recovering people... I'm open and listening to what god says through others but I feel kind of confuse on what I have to do right now... In my small town with some NA addicts talking badly of each other, choosing a sponsor is sometime choosing side in a conflicts... I'm triing my best to be a peacebrigner but right now I first need to recover. I find it hard here to find a sponsor so I'm looking for someone to talk to on Internet.
Welcome Laurence M-C, (is that MC like DJ Jazzy Jeff and the fresh Prince?)Just kidding man,lot of coffee today...Glad you found us ,congratulations on 8 years,a real blessing of relief from the "monster".We are here all hours of the day and night to share our ESH with each other and carry the NA message of recovery.Keep coming back let us know how its going,rest of gang will be on to welcome you.Have a blessed and productive day....................
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Welcome. I have seen some of what you are talking about. There is back biting and gossip in NA like any other group of people. I can't help but wonder about you and your sponsor breaking apart. Sponsorship is a relationship. A very close and personal one. So there will be trying times in that relationship. It may lead to falling out from time to time, but the separation is only as permanent as the two of you wish it to be. Perhaps you and he can re-discover recovery in each other. If he helped you stay clean for 8 years, it seems like a winning combination.
WATS UP THER BROTHR, SORRY ABOUT THE POSITION UR IN BUT IN ORDER TO GROW WE MUST PASS THROUGH THESE SITUATIONS. I'VE HAD 3 SPONSORS AND EACH TIME ITS BEEN A FEELING OF BETRAYAL OR ABANDONMENT. I DID THOUGH LEARN FROM EACH ONE OF THEM. ITS BEEN NOW OVER 20YRS THANK GOD, FINDING A SPONSOR CAN GET COMPLICATED IF IM TAKING OTHER PEOPLES INVENTORY. WHICH WHEN THE DIESEASE IS ACTIVE IS EZ TO DO! I HERE YOU ABOUT THE BACK STABBING THAT MY BE GOING ON, EITHER WAY YOUR STILL RESPONIBLE FOR YOUR OWN RECOVERY! FIND SOME COMONALITY IN OTHERS AND READ THE SPONSORSHIP IP#11. INTERVIEW THE GUY OR A FEW OF GUYS AND SEE WHO STRIKES YOUR INTEREST AND IS GOING IN A DIRECTION YOUR INTERESTED IN. GOOD LUCK BUT YOU STILL HAV 2 DO THE WORK! P E A C E...
Yo Willie P ,what up dog? now how I really talk, welcome to the family Willie,what up dog! :) Glad you found us man,c;mon share you ESH ,help keep us clean for another day.Hope to here more from ya! peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I've had 7 sponsors in 5 years in the rooms of NA. Thank God, I've had no female sponsor yet.
I feel pretty strongly about this. If you look up "sponsor" in the dictionary it means a promise, vow, or pledge. The promise, specifically, is to guide you through the 12 Steps. Has your previous sponsor done that? None of my previous sponsors have guided me through all 12 Steps.
To be fair to the first three guys, I wasn't a good sponsee. But I basically used the last three sponsors to take me through a round of steps. They let me down by quitting, but I'm grateful they did that now.
That was why God wanted me to be messed about with multiple sponsors. He wanted me to take ownership of and responsibility for my recovery. And he wanted me to take being a sponsor seriously. Where my sponsors let me down, I learnt to treat my sponsees as a serious thing.
If your previous sponsor has not completed a round of steps with you, I'm real sorry to hear that. I used whoever was available to finish. I used their willingness up while they were willing and when 4 of my previous sponsors left the rooms I learnt from their leaving the bitter price of unwillingness.
If you have completed a round of steps, may I offer my experience? I think this will prove a viable course of action for you.
Me and my partner went through every man in our NA area who has done a round of steps and together asked our Higher Power which one I might work with. There are fewer than twenty men who have done all twelve steps in my area so it didn't take long.
I was directed to ask the guys who didn't seem to have sponsors. You could spot em; the crazy ones, the angry ones, and the just-holding-on ones. And I just asked all of them straight out.
One guy got back to me in minutes and we arranged a co-sponsorship.
Bottom line, I have to be responsible for my recovery. I have to trust my judgement and do what I believe best for me.
Hi guys, thanks for answering so quickly. Not knowing if people would respond rapidly, I asked 6 or 7 of you guys (earthgroup) and posted a note on this forum. I receved so many answers that I felt the warmth of meetings through Internet. I started to share with one recovering addict since the first day after my post. Sorry I didn't write you back sooner (even if I thanked some of you personaly). Thanks for writing to me, it was (and is) realy important to me, realy. For now I'll stick with that guy I'm sharing with on Internet until I and God find me a face to face sponsor. Have a good life, and a good day all of ya.
Hello family, hope all of you are doing well. just got in from work and decided to check some e mails. Glad to see that brother Laurence has possibility and hope b4 him. Thats why we're here to help each other. Staying close my 22yr old son seems to have this knack for playing w/fire so I'm playing it close. Right away I see myself leaving the present and projections are not far off. Its ez to turn over most of life's circumstances,when it comes to kids that rents space even after giving him to the GOD in my life..anyhow pray for the suffering we don't have to be uzing.
Hi Lawrence, glad you found that one another human being.
My ex-Sponsor is from Earth Group. I had a very fruitful and rewarding relationship of almost 3 years with him. As a year clean addict, I held on to his directions dearly to overcome 3 major crises in my early recovery - my marriage, an Area-level violent conflict in NA service, and then in coming to terms with my father's illness (cancer) and his approaching death.
What Jim T, my ex-Sponsor passed on to me, is priceless, I still have all his emails and chat conversations with me. I read them from time-to-time when I'm confused, and amazingly, I still find directions from what he has shared with me.
From the last year or so, I have a Sponsor, again online, from Toronto-Canada. He is one guy who will reach out to me no matter how busy I pretend to be. His unconditional love and support fills my recovery with lots of hope. I haven't been that good in being in regular touch with my current sponsor, it's him who always remembers me inspite of his own commitments and life.
I've come to realize through these experiences of having an e-Sponsor that more than a Sponsor being face-to-face or online, it's my yearning, it's my strong desire to work the program with the help of a Sponsor that defines how I benefit from this important tool of NA. With my ex-Sponsor, the more I reached out to him and sought help over my crises, the more my life and my perception of what's happening in my life transformed for the better. The less I reach out to my current Sponsor today, the more I feel I'm away from the Program. Ultimately, it's what happens in a Sponsorship, I've come to believe through my experiences. And most of what happens or not depends on my faith, willingness and commitment as a sponsee to make use of my Sponsor or the lack thereof. If I'm honest and willing, It Works!
As I read on one online NA Group a few years back "Face-to-face or cyberspace, there IS God's grace!"
Letting this Grace in depends on my desire and my willingness, whether it be my face-to-face fellowship or MIP family. Just my experiences
