Morning! was thinking this morning I spend a lot of time and concern replying back to my peers here and on another fellowships forum but never really say much with whats going on with me..For about last 4-5 months have been feeling like this sense of urgency to do some things but am really kind of overwhelmed now with what's already going on in my life.and things already doing . Am active with NA/NARANON and also stop in AA,(mon/thur/sat/consistent and other times in between)when asked to lead a ceremony or just to sit and listen.I sponsor people and am active at events and celebrations,homegroup and speak around when asked. Looking to start another band,train for 1 more marathon(qualify for Boston one more time)become part of church ministry and balance all this with'RECOVERY AT HOME".My whole process of recovery is very God based and I work really hard to stay so close and then everything else seems to work out. At 62 years of age,an addict,with almost 26 years clean and free from active addiction who is as far from a "GURU" as Johnny Cash is from being drummer for Led Zeppelin,am struggling with many different issues and only have my ESH and the actions of my life to relect who I am.Now spending each day in deep prayer and reflection to to hear where my HP needs me to be.Also have some resentments at my job been at for 31 years,not with people that I serve(people with disabilities) but management,and thats the case in a lot of jobs,why we call it work..Getting better saying whats on my mind but some days doesnt feel like spiritual principles would be shared if I really let it go(welcome to life right?)I also believe the strain of our 23 year old son,a heroin addict,in recovery has taken a toll over last 5 years ..Anyway as always,thru the grace of God ,continued practice and support from all around me and sharing in my heart "life on life terms situations that others go thru daily,Just for Today is just another part of the journey.My relationships are filled with love and nurturing but seems that still need that time with myself,not isolation but"me things"(little self centeredness,ahh yeah!!) anyway thanks for support here and honest sharing of your lives to help keep me looking at things in perspective.I need to go back to beginning talk less and listen more...like Ralph used to say"because I,m a blabbermouth!!! Have a blessed day ,thanks for letting me take part in my own recovery.....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
GRAMPS!!! know matter how many days or how many minutes year included :) we are still human that self centered ness migmight be that you do need some (gramps time) I isolate and this is my life pretty sad but anyway it is not self centered it taking time for you
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Don't forget to BREATHE my friend - It's so funny I was just thinking alot of what you are going thru about me - That I truly need me time - And sometimes that me time is just totally venting to someone - not to be told about spiritual principals or none of that - Just release - take a hot sauna (with my bathing suite on) - getting in a jaquzzi - going to the mountain top and just scream - "What about me" Its funny I see folks get alot of time life is wonderful - but the basic human need sometimes get swept over - Loving oneself enough - I wish that you put your boxers on your head - run to a mountain and scream - Hope it makes you feel better - I am sure that is a spiritual principal in one of the unwritten literatures - OPEN, HONEST, WILLING - love and hugs
Hi Mike, Sorry buddy, but I envy your life. I know....greener grass and so on. But you have such a giving spirit it awes me. Your life is so full, with fulfillment and yes some pain. And pa-leez, running fucking marathons at 62!!!! LOL. You are an inspiration to me sir.
Thanks Manon,Don,Terry,BigV...I really learn a lot from listening to all here ,each day , and for that I am greatful that God allows me to keep my mind open enough to continue to learn.We are definitely blessed to be here now ,coming from where we have but probably like all of us, I still keep things bottled and try to keep the cork on.I will attack today sharing love with even those who don't know they want it...Have a blessed a productive day.........
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
