"We must use what we learn or we will lose it, no matter how long we have been clean."
Basic Text, p. 85
After putting some clean time together, some of us have a tendency to forget what our most important priority is. Once a week or less we say, "I've gotta get to a meeting tonight. It's been.. " We've been caught up in other things, important for sure, but no more so than our continued participation in Narcotics Anonymous.
It happens gradually. We get jobs. We reunite with our families. We're raising children, the dog is sick, or we're going to school at night. The house needs to be cleaned. The lawn needs to be mowed. We have to work late. We're tired. There's a good show at the theater tonight. And all of a sudden, we notice that we haven't called our sponsor, been to a meeting, spoken to a newcomer, or even talked to God in quite a while.
What do we do at this point? Well, we either renew our commitment to our recovery, or we continue being too busy to recover until something happens and our lives become unmanageable. Quite a choice! Our best bet is to put more of our energy into maintaining the foundation of recovery on which our lives are built. That foundation makes everything else possible, and it will surely crumble if we get too busy with everything else.
Just for Today: I can't afford to be too busy to recover I will do something today that sustains my recovery.
I'm active in the fellowship, but I still get reminded all the time about how my life continues to be unmanageable. I had an embarrassing situation come up at my home group meeting just yesterday. I embarrassed myself. My disease is cunning and sees an opening. It's not creating in me a desire to use, no that would be too direct. It is more subtle than that. It is telling me to withdraw from the group, maybe isolate a little today. Sly things that have nothing to do with using except that they lead to using.......ALWAYS! So I come on line and put it in writing. I pray on it...Spoke to my wife about it....Will call my sponsor today....and continue to put one foot in front the other and pray that I grew a little from this experience. Thanks for listening.
Way to go Don!.Seeing yourself coming is benefit of working a good program and you are reaching for all the right areas God,your sponsor,your wife etc...and also how to look for a learning lesson in what ever occurred.I heard you mention a couple times about your homegroup,maybe at a business meeting there is something you could do to clear the air if there is tension there???If we embarrass ourselves we have to realize we are human and that we probably embarrassed ourselves in our active addiction many times maybe not even knowing or caring.The awareness seems to me a positive move forward in recovery.Pick yourself up,dust yourself off and head back out,for another day with possibly a little more experience!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
