"Some of us first saw the effects of addiction on the people closest to us. We were very dependent on them to carry us through life. We felt angry disappointed, and hurt when they found other interests, friends, and loved ones."
Basic Text, p. 7
Addiction affected every area of our lives. Just as we sought the drug that would make everything alright, so we sought people to fix us. We made impossible demands, driving away those who had anything of worth to offer us. Often, the only people left were those who were themselves too needy to be capable of denying our unrealistic expectations. It's no wonder that we were unable to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships in our addiction.
Today, in recovery, we've stopped expecting drugs to fix us. If we still expect people to fix us, perhaps it's time to extend our recovery program to our relationships. We begin by admitting we have a problem-that we don't know the first thing about how to have healthy intimate relationships. We seek out members who've had similar problems and have found relief. We talk with them and listen to what they share about this aspect of their recovery. We apply the program to all our affairs, seeking the same kind of freedom in our relationships that we find throughout our recovery.
Just for Today: Loving relationships are within my reach. Today, I will examine the effects of addiction on my relationships so that I can begin seeking recovery.
It's simple, we apply the spiritual principles to all our affairs, we face the truths that hurt and we let God guide all our thoughts and actions and things get better.
OK it's not so simple LOL but let me tell you what a difference it makes, life gets better, relationships change and we get along with the world and people around us and we live in peace.
As long as I dont try to run the show play the director all by myself things go well, soon as self will runs riot, I have havoc.
For me addiction is all about self, self centered self seeking my recovery has made me more aware of other people not just me, people appreciate that..
In 1965 when I WAS MARRIED THE FIRST OUT OF 3 TIMES, I remember the day my wife told me ,in 1975,that she didnt love me anymore.Too me that was IMPOSSIBLE!.yES MAYBE i WAS USING A LITTLE TOO MUCH AND DEALING AND TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL BUT "NOT LOVE' me that couldn't be.See we had been together since we were around 12 years old,got pregnant at 17 and "in those days"you got married,thats what we did..Talk about running down the cliff from there! Today I realize that it really was never"love" to begin with and my relationship with my wife now has been blessed as I CONTINUALLY learn to get out of the "all for me" syndrome and really care about others.This also takes daily work and I am definitly grateful to have opportunity to "really be in love"only thru the grace of God and my own effort.Listen I am still a knucklehead(ask my wife:) but I know by "trying to do the will of my HP each day everything else kinda falls into place.COURSE DEPENDS HOW GOOD MY WORK WAS FOR THE DAY...Love, many words have tried to describe it, check this out,,Im watching monster movie on TV and dreaming of JUJYFRUITS(black ones!!) ,go to the kitchen ,open cabinet ,and there they are,someone knows me and definitely loves me(may not like me at times!!!)By not taking it for granted and stopping to notice the "love gifts' in all areas of my life I can only say Thank you my God for showing me real love...Corny maybe ,but real.................
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
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