"It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going."
Basic Text, p. 23
When we first find recovery, some of us feel shame or despair at calling ourselves "addicts" In the early days, we may be filled with both fear and hope as we struggle to find new meaning in our lives. The past may seem inescapable and overpowering. It may be hard to think of ourselves in any way other than the way we always have.
While memories of the past can serve as reminders of what's waiting for us if we use again, they can also keep us stuck in a nightmare of shame and fear. Though it may be difficult to let go of those memories, each day in recovery can bring us that much farther away from our active addiction. Each day, we can find more to look forward to and less to punish ourselves for.
In recovery, all doors are open to us. We have many choices. Our new life is rich and full of promise. While we cannot forget the past, we don't have to live in it. We can move on.
Just for Today: I will pack my bags and move out of my past into a present filled with hope.
While memories of the past can serve as reminders of what's waiting for us if we use again, they can also keep us stuck in a nightmare of shame and fear.
Yep....they sure can. I pray to my HP to release me from continually mourning for past. He is answering my prayer a little more each day.
Avid my friend if I didn't know any better I would swear you are living in my head. lol Seriously though I am still consumed w/ so much guilt & shame that it's almost crippling me mentally, physically, & most of all emotionally. My sister who is also my bf tells me that atleast 10+ times a day. Sometimes more. I let my kids get away w/ so much more than I ever would have if didn't carry all of this emotional baggage around. Don't get me wrong they've always been spoiled but never disrespectful until they learned how to manipulate the situation. Any suggestions on how to let it go? My parents & my ex-husband love to remind me of my past every time I say or do something they disagree with. Before I went to rehab whether I was using or not I was very self confident and very strong willed. Always in complete control of my life and never backed down even if the odds weren't always in my favor. I met life head on & really lived. You know what i mean? Now I feel like i simply exist. I am physically sober but yet i still don't feel like I am living sober. You once asked me about my connection w/ my HP. I am sure i probably dodged the question because that's what i do these days when I don't have 'the right answer". I pray but then I feel guilty because i don't really know what my connection is w/ my HP or if I even have one. I desperately want to have that in my life but the truth is i don't have a clue as to where to begin. I just want to say thanks again for uour post/message I needed it. It makes me feel a little less alone knowing I am not the only one who can admit guilt & shame are 2 of my worst enemies.
Thanks again, Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
Hope comes from willingness. Dare to believe. If you don't have a higher power in your life but want one. Then pray for one. You don't have to know who he/she/it is. there is no "right answer". If you lack the willingness to pray, then pray for the willingness. If you don't believe, then believe that I believe. And as always "The solution is in the steps" And the steps begin with #1. Surrender. True, genuine, heartfelt, surrender with no reservations is the great burden reliever. It's hard to admit that our lives our unmanageable, believe me I know, but if you can make this admission, you will feel a tremendous sense of relief. Guilt and shame are symptoms of our disease. They cause us to further isolate and dwell on ourselves. This is where the phone comes in. Pick it up and call another addict. "What's your experience on dealing with ________" is a great opening statement. Asking for help is a humbling experience. But humility is one of the great spiritual principles that can keep us clean. God bless us all.
