"There is a special feeling for addicts when they discover that there are other people who share their difficulties, past and present."
Basic Text, pp. 55-56
The wealth of our recovery is too good to keep to ourselves. Some of us believe that when we talk in meetings, we should "remember the newcomer" and always try to carry a positive message. But sometimes the most positive message we can carry is that we are going through difficult times in our recovery and are staying clean in spite of them!
Yes, it's gratifying to send out a strong message of hope to our newer members. After all, no one likes a whiner. But distressing things happen, and life on life's terms can send shock waves even through the recovery of long-time members of Narcotics Anonymous. If we are equipped with the tools of the program, we can walk through such turmoil and stay clean to tell the tale.
Recovery doesn't happen all at once; it is an ongoing process, sometimes a struggle. When we dilute the fullness of our message by neglecting to share about the tough times we may walk through on our journey, we fail to allow newcomers the chance to see that they, too, can stay clean, no matter what. If we share the full message of our recovery, we may not know who benefits, but we can be sure someone will.
Just for Today: I will honestly share both the good times and the difficult times of my recovery. I will remember that my experience in walking through adversity may benefit another member.
Sometimes it's easier to stay clean through the bad times than it is to stay clean during the good times. At least for me that's been the case. But I get the message. Dealing with life on life's terms clean and sober is a miracle that can happen through Narcotics Anonymous.
I made my first contact to do a ninth step amends, my ex girlfriends dad but the thing is we've been working on things together so she's not really an ex yet LOL.
So I explained to her a few weeks back what i was needing to do with this eigth step list and that her family was on my list of people I felt I needed to make amends to so day before yesterday I explained it to her in detail what was going to happen for me when I did this stuff. Yesterday I contacted her dad and asked if we could talk and he said "Sure, whats up ? " so I gave him a real brief idea of what I wanted to talk to him about face to face and he said "sure I have no problem with you Vini ", anyhow it got back to her mom who I guess has a real dislike for me and she kept things from the dad and he was pissed he had been left in the dark about stuff, then it got back to Jenn and she was pissed at me for going behind her back, honestly, I did not tell her i would be contacting her dad yet. SO I got the 3rd degree from her but I think after some talking she understands but she's pissed I didnt wait till things were better between us and that and she thinks I had other motives and was afraid I was going to say more to him then he needed to know.
That last part of the step,
except when to do so would injure them or others.
I forgot that part and didn't see that Jenn could be harmed as she was, I should have handled this differently and waited and I should have told her what my plans were since it had to do with her family. But I am still meeting her dad so far, she gave me the ok on that just not sure he still wants to meet me and now that he has more info i'm not to sure how he will react, but i'll humbly take whatever I get even if its a bullet LOL.
-- Edited by BigV on Thursday 18th of March 2010 02:35:23 PM
Wow what a reading today.... you know i was just discussing with a friend the other day, about not wanting to spew my crap out in the rooms.... but this reading gave me a whole new perspective. It's funny how the higher power sends the info when your ready to hear it
Andrea
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people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
