ty Ty Raman how are you doing? I am grateful for the post you wrote Ineeded to hear that thanx

Great message Raman.
Keep em coming

Great post Raman. I need reminding that now "we have a daily choice" more than you know. Thanks!

Stacey

Hooray,, its working.
The restlessness and anger are gone to the extent that I get out of myself !
Been so these past 5 days and nites.
Felt a bit of that come on this day,,so I went walking !
Been a great Sunday,,, funday with my daughter too,, watching a movie with her, sharing lunchtime and discussing issues !

Thanks Stacey,, I had some great moments.
But in the background has been a dark cloud !
 
ive  been worrying about what my 14 year old will do and how she will cope if I was dead ? 

Sounds weird but this death issue has always provoked anger in me. Perhaps the first time in my life,,Im getting to look at that fear without escaping in any way. The thoughts regarding death had me thinking it was already reality. 

Then as I Meditate more on that subject, I know I have to face this fear squarely and direct. Ive broached the subject with my mother and gave a hint of it to my daughter too.
 
My main concern has been the lack of relatives we have, no one at all that I can count on in that eventuality. All my mothers side are in the US or Canada etc, and I have very little contact with pa's side. In my apartment building lives my younger brother who has his own family. 

What happens to my daughters future security ? All the property I developed, the antiques, the insurances and the monies ?? Who will handle all that for my darling girl ? 

O God,, our  help in ages past ,
Our hope for  years to come,,,,,,

-- Edited by Raman on Monday 1st of March 2010 05:24:54 AM

Raman I am probably the last person who shoud be making suggestions about your future & how you will be able to make sure she gets everything she's intitled too. So, here goes nothing. Do you have an account it or anyone who oversee's your property & other investments? You did mention insurance policies, right? If you are comfortable w/ your insurance broker he would definitely be a good place to start. He can help you set up a trust fund & handle things like that and take of everything. He can even help w/ a living will or whatever needs to be done. That way your daughter's future is secured as well as you being able to have some peace of mind. Just a suggestion but I am sure you will decide what's right for you and everything will work out. Check out several options if you can. I am a divorced mom of 2 teenage girls 15 & 17. My ex-husband owes me $168,000 in back child support so i know exactly how you about wanting to get everything in order for your daughter. Your a good man Raman & you'll be in prayers.

Take Care,
Stacey

Now that I think about it,, Im glad I paid my wife once and for all as soon as the court settlement came through.

Thank God I have no guilt in that regard and thank God I was seen as responsible enough
to be given custody and my then 6 year old.

Yes Stacey,, I really do understand where you are coming from.
Please know that it is allright to feel what you are feeling.
I want to say that Im feeling proud that I know you,,,,you are an inspiration in my recovery.

A very lovely day to you too,,,
Raman

Hi Stacey,,
In order to have my the little girl feel secure and know that daddy was there for her, I shunned socialising, girlfriends, remarriage and many career options.

I was content to be mediocre because thatd keep me close to home.

But now my little girl is all of 14, her wings are ready, and I know its a new phase of recovery Im in.
Im not so concerned about emotional security for her but I want her future to be secure in terms of finances for education, settling down etc.

Anjana knows that papa will do all he can to achieve that, within the Principles of ecovery.
Im greatful for that .