wtf I can make friends dagte and hang out with new ppl or Iused to b4 my anxiety started to consume me right along with my fears. Part of me wants to have ppl around then It is just Fucking safer alone I have mental pysical and addiction issues and abuse so a bit more than than your average package but yet tstill a package deal but at the same tiome I don't want burden any one with all my probs it doesn't seem fair
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Uh...maybe because it is not fair? Not being a wise ass---just considering the reality of life. To me, that is what I need all 12 steps for...to deal with the unfairness visited upon my sorry self. They are so "all purpose", we get so much bang for the buck...ways to stop using and ways to start living, even when life ain't...u guessed it....fair.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
I understand anxiety. It's been with me my whole life. I have resigned myself (surrendered) to the fact that I have a disease that is greater than me. The symptoms of my disease include anxiety, depression, worry and guilt, to name a few. The disease is incurable so these feelings will always be around to one degree or another. The best I can hope for is that by turning my will and my life over to a loving, caring higher power that is greater than me and greater than my disease, I can stop the disease from getting worse. When my faith is strong, my disease is weak. And vice versa. Today I will keep my faith strong. You are in my prayers Manon.
Hey Manon! Thanks for the supportive message on my whiteboard. I can relate to not meeting people as easily. I have always been very socially active and never met a stranger. I have always been a people person and had a lot of really great friends. Whether I was using or not until i actually entered treatment. Now I am very self-conscience & constantly second guessing myself. I agree w/ Avid it's the symptoms of our disease. I am constantly consumed w/ guilt & shame. I feel like all I do is say I am sorry to the people my addiction hurt the most and then get angry at myself because it scares the hell out me that I can't seem to stay out of self-will & "give it to God" as everyone else seems to be able to do. Eventhough, I know what I have to do and I am truly trying to get in touch w/ my spiritual side something is missing for me. So if asking WTF is wrong w/ me means I am crazy or I have bigger issues than most then I guess I should just be alone too. lol I think most people addict or not at some point in their lives ask themselves that question. Hang in there Manon! Your in my prayers.
Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
