"We regretted the past, dreaded the future, and weren't too thrilled about the present"
Basic Text, p. 7
Until we experience the healing that happens when we work the Twelve Steps, it is doubtful that we can find a statement more true than the quote above. Most of us come to NA hanging our heads in shame, thinking about the past and wishing we could go back and change it. Our fantasies and expectations about the future may be so extreme that, on our first date with someone, we find ourselves wondering which lawyer we'll use for the divorce. Almost every experience causes us to remember something from the past or begin projecting into the future.
At first, it's difficult to stay in the moment. It seems as though our minds won't stop. We have a hard time just enjoying ourselves. Each time we realize that our thoughts are not focused on what's happening right now, we can pray and ask a loving God to help us get out of ourselves. If we regret the past, we make amends by living differently today; if we dread the future, we work on living responsibly today.
When we work the steps and pray each time we discover we're not living in the present, we'll notice that those times aren't occurring as often as they used to. Our faith will help us live just for today. We'll have hours, even days, when our full attention is focused on the current moment in time, not the regrettable past or fearful future.
Just for Today: When I live fully in each moment, I open myself to joys that might otherwise escape me. If I am having trouble, I will ask a loving God for help
It's readings like this that convinced me that NA is where I belong. Whenever my thoughts wander they either travel back to a regrettable past or to a future filled with fear. But it is getting better. I am better able to simply attend to the task at hand without the tape going to rewind or fast forward. Those times when I am in the moment are when I am free. I know...without doubt, that if I keep coming back, working the steps and praying to my higher power that it will just keep getting better and better. Thank God for the 12 steps of Narcotics Anonymous.
