I've been dating a wonderful man for a couple of months now and we had the talk tonight about taking our relationship to the next level. We both want this and I had to come clean about my addiction. Needless to say he was not willing to move forward and I'm sad and hurt over it.
I know it's hard for some people to accept but that doesn't make it hurt any less. At least I was honest and didn't try to hide my problems.
The mixed feelings are what I'm struggling with. It will get better with time but that doesn't help now.
When this happens I feel as if staying clean is pointless.
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"No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions". Patrick Kennedy
congrats on your honesty that is huge yes our behaviors in the past effect us still today DRAMA men can't stand but what they forget to see is why pms is just that putting up with mens shit menopause come on al we deal with has to do with men ow you tell me where the dramam comes from hang in there hun someone will LOVE you theway you desire just on your HPs time I kow believe me there are few that can tell you howw thier HP took over and guided the flocks
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I feel for you Kate. I had a similar talk with my wife about 10 years ago. Fortunately she was ok with my situation and we moved in together and eventually got married. I say this to you so as to inspire hope. You will meet a man who will love you and not hold your past against you. But this can only happen if you stay clean and continue on the journey of recovery. God bless you.
P.S... I hesitated to write this but .......
It is possible that he was shocked by your admission. If he really loves you he may come around in a few days and be able to focus on who you are now, rather than what you have done in the past.
-- Edited by avid on Monday 18th of January 2010 08:31:21 AM
Not everyone can accept our situation i am experiencing it myself with my friend(note not girlfriend but friend now LOL) met someone the other day nice gal layed my whole resume out to her well most of it and didnt think I would see her again BUT she called and we're friends she wants more even but i'm not going to go there with her i need to learn FIRST how to be a friend.
We can find all kinds of excuses to not stay clean I call them Reservations, thoughts will come just let them go right out the other side because nothings worth using over and going back to the hell we had before, not for me today and I hope not for you.
GODS WILL BE DONE if someone doesn't want you find someone who does, not a big deal its a large world out there
Thanks for the support ladies and gents. You all have valid points. Someone will come along and love and accept all of me for who I am.
Avid- He has never used drugs (so he says) and is not bothered with my using in the past, because I've been clean for 6.5 years. He is worried about a relapse, which is possible. Maybe he will come around.
Manon- Putting up with men is hard for us women sometimes. It's funny how they believe they are so simple. Maybe they are but they are still a pain at times. Oh well, we can't live w/o them and we can't kill em either.
Vin- Yes, God will see to it the right man comes into my life in his own time.
You guys are great. I love my NA family.
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"No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions". Patrick Kennedy
