Success has always scared me... I just KNEW that the minute I let myself enjoy anything, it would be snatched away from me.
Today, even though some fear still remains, it no longer prevents me from enjoying what I have attained.
My goals are pretty fluid and undefined. I never really fully achieve my goals, because they change and grow as I change and grow. Today, I'm fully capable of appreciating how far I've come and enjoying where I'm at. At times I still have to remind myself that getting through the day without using is success enough, but those times have become fewer and farther between.
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I may not be 'All That', but I'm always on my mind!
I'm still learning to handle success, but I'm much better today than I was in the past, when I would reject, minimize or ignore any form of personal success. This disease likes to tell me that I don't deserve success, and often will act out its will thru the shortcoming of low esteem; which sometimes will release the saboteurs of success.
When I set goals, I'm very good at reaching them. Right now, goals are a bit of a love/hate thing in my life, even though that when I set them, I work diligently to obtain them. To reach a goal requires work, commitment and a bit of structure (a plan) - all things that I'm naturally averse to. My first desire is to be a free spirit, allowed to run wild and follow my every whim - yet reap the rewards that structure, dedication and work bring. It's a compromise in sacrificing the payoff for what I want right now. Sometimes I'm okay with that - sometimes not.
It's funny how my goals have changed over the years. In the past, my primary goal was to continue to get loaded, and not get 'caught' - stay out of jail. In recovery, my early goals were to just stay clean another hour/day. Now my goal setting has expanded outside of recovery, and into my personal and professional life. For me, there is incredible power in working towards a goal, and then achieving it. The overarching feeling that prevents the use of this tool more often is.. you guessed it.. fear.
I have not been much sucess in my life other than being clean almost five years.My biggest sucess was being a addict,a dam good addict.I don't like to say I was succesful at that ,it almost killed me more than once.I have been married almost twenty years to my fine lady.That a sucess that hard earned.
Hi TISA! Good to see ya! I have always been goal oriented even when I was active(although couldnt accomplish anything then except get twisted daily)I also have been able to 'give God the glory for His accomplishments thru me for my success in different areas,(A blessed marriage with the one I love more today than 25 years ago, a strong church family with accountability partners,physical accomplishments,Boston marathon 4 times,black belt in Tae Kwon Do,playing on the road in successful bands,healthy children(some struggling)and my health which amazes me after so many years of abuse) My COMPULSIVE mindset allows me to set goals and accomplish them if it is Gods will,I firmly believe"thru Him all things are possible"(God of my understanding)My success is based on What the will of my HP has in plan for me..I TRY NOT TO EVER GET 'FULL OF MYSELF" thats a very dangerous area as we all know!! anyway talk to ya on the rebound the rebound peace!!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
success scares me too which is why i choose to be difficult and not try hard at anything. but im making cookies today so maybe that will be a success? who knows. and im not good at reaching goals. if i happen to reach them its pure luck, i set goals but never reach them.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
I have not been much sucess in my life other than being clean almost five years.My biggest sucess was being a addict,a dam good addict.I don't like to say I was succesful at that ,it almost killed me more than once.I have been married almost twenty years to my fine lady.That a sucess that hard earned.
