I have seen a change in the way people are at meetings that say this is my homegroup. I was shown in early in my recovery that we are suppose to try and participate in the group if possible.Being of service to the group,setup,take down,make coffee.Some of the things we should do is be on time , sit through the entire meeting , share about N.A. in a positive manner , show respect to all, remember anonymity,show up share experience,strength and hope,carry ourselves appropriately at all times. We shpuld leave the meeting the same or better than we find it.Take time to talk to all newcomers and welcome them . Also being a homegroup member , if another member hasn't been around or sick someone should give them a call to see if they are doing alright oe see if they can help.A lot of homegroups keep a list of members so they know when your next cleantime celebration is . In some N.A.communities it has been customary for members of the fellowshp to support a group,their home group.This custom is not universal , many believe its practice can benefit the individual member as well as the group.For the individual member,it can provide a stable recovery base , a place to call "home",a place to know and be known by other recovering addicts.For the group it ensures a core of regular committed members.A strong homegroup can foster a soirit of camarderie among it's members that makes the group more attractive to and more supportive of newcomers . The homegroup provides us many opportunites for us to involve ourselves in the NA Fellowship,making it a great place to start giving back what Narcotics has Given Us So Freely. In commiting to our homegroup,we have made a personal commitment to N.A. Unity.That commitment not only enhances our own recovery,it helps ensure recovery is available for others.Our homegroup also gives us a place in which we can participate in N.A. decision making processes.There are many,many ways of talking and thinking about the bond established among addicts in there groups.Do what seems most suitable in your N.A. community.I hope we will get more people devote themselves to douig service. ILS
When I first came into the rooms I believed as you do. In retrospect, all it did was sow the seeds of resentment. I came early, unlocked the door, made coffee, set up tables, put out literature etc. for months. This was a big meeting with a coffee urn that took over 30 minutes. If I was a little late in getting there and the coffee was not ready at least 15 minutes before the meeting started I would hear about it. At one point, I was making coffee, setting up, AND charing the meeting. After about 4 months, I started having issues that affected my recovery. I was able to turn my key and coffee commitment over, but then stopped coming to meetings. No one from home group called. Ever. Last night was the first time I visited that group in over a year. The coffee wasn't ready on time. but the message of recovery was good and that's what really matters. So now, with my new home group, I have no illusions about "camaraderie", and I am very selective about making a commitment, and I realize that a support group is an individual thing. It is not automatically bestowed on one by a home group. I'll bet that there are home groups like the one you described. I think it's wonderful and truly reflects the highest principles of Narcotics Anonymous. It was however, not my experience.
avid,I have learned that recovery comes in all shapes and sizes.If I don't like it ,there are other meetings.I live where three different Areas and Regions all come together.I jst would like to see some newcomers try out service,it helped me want to stay and belong.Yes I chaired meetings,was secretary,and treasurer for one meeting tha the same three of us showed every week,we had to close it for lack of support.The world spins on an axis and I guess the fellowship does also.
Hey Guys yeah you can easily get resentments if you start planning on other people being in the same vein as you. For example I have been making coffee for almost 2 years in my home group,2 weeks ago in business meeting,member says 'your making coffee too strong,thats why we are using it up so much(1 can last me for about a month(33 oz)anyway I started to explain that I have been making it same way every monday night for 2 years "now its too strong"(feel me standing up!!)She doesnt even drink coffee.Anyway I let it roll,made coffee same way I always have and didnt let it take me to another level,seems minor,but we can remember when these situations would put us biserk!!I take what I need and leave the rest behind.I open up,close up have a group of people that always help out and we share the message of recovery week after weekCertainly been in worse places!!!!I do go to other meetings thru the week also on weekend and that puts another perspective on the "group conscience" of each area..I love this process enough to let the little things not get to me,sometimes harder than other times,but I do not govern and I have learned to hold less resentments.(on bad nights I just kick the wall in):)
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Your words are well spoken Mike. It's also true that I was looking for an excuse to leave the rooms, so of course I found one. It just stung me a little about the "camaraderie" part of the op. I used to wonder if things would have been different if just one of my home group members would have called me. But that was then and this is now. I am responsible for my recovery. I come to the rooms for recovery, not camaraderie. If I make some friends along the way that's cool, but I have re arranged my priorities and so far things are going smoother for me.
"I come to the rooms for recovery, not camaraderie. "
Glad you shared this Avid...I've been stewing a bit about an experience I had on Thanksgiving day, with a group that is not my home group. I had never been there and it was more than an hour away so I didn't know anybody. There was an open invitation to enjoy a buffet spread between the 2 scheduled meetings. I was looking forward to that because my fiance had to work and I didn't cook anything & didn't want to stay home alone either. So I took myself for a ride down to this group. I'm very used to walking into meetings I've never been to, in many different states...usually they're the same everywhere...you walk in and you are welcomed and you know you "belong".
Long story short: NOT ONE...I repeat...NOT ONE of the 12-15 people there ever greeted me or even responded with their own name when I initiated and said "Hi, I'm Lee." A few said "Hi"back, but that was it. Turned right back to their little gab groups. And no, I hadn't wandered into the Elks Club by mistake--it was the right 12 Step meeting!
Before the meeting I sat at a table with 4 others and no one included me in the conversation or responded to anything I said, just to try and join in (innocuous openers, like "great sweet potatoes"). It was the most dreadful non-recovery "room" I've ever been in. Bizarre, really.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt AND the resentment.
We are merely human and addicts to boot! Thats where the whole principles before personalities thing comes in.
I've been guilty of not appreciating others service work. I've been guilty of getting a martyr complex over my own service work. I've been guilty of chatting with my friends instead of welcoming the newcomer. I've been guilty of being a home-group member and never calling the missing members.
I enjoyed your post, cdbuckberry. That is what a homegroup is ideally, but sometimes we fall short as a group as well as individuals.
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I may not be 'All That', but I'm always on my mind!
