my husband although grew up with parents who loved him and still do, they have a lot of trouble showing their affection. he is of mixed race too so growing up had issues revolving around that and where he fit into society. his mother is maori and never explained much of their culture and treated him like an australian (because he was born here,so he is an aussie) but she doesnt reliase the because he isnt white,he doesnt quite fit into either race..... anyway..there is alot of issues relating to his upbringing that make him the man that he is today...
i have reliased that any thing in his life that isnt going his way or to plan effects everything that he does..including our sex life.
if he isnt happy at work or confident in his personal life he can only just function. just do the basics in life. 
he has been babied by his parents and to a big extent since being his partner i took over that role from his mum.  i truly dont think that he has ever been a REAL MAN.
all big decisions that we have made like buying and selling our first home to buying and selling our second home, were all done with my instigation.  i also dealt with all the banks,solicitors,contractors...etc..because he isnt good at communication and i am, i just take over.
he isnt happy at work and hasnt been for a while. i am encouraging him with all my might to leave but he is very reluctant and doesnt feel that he can earn anymore money doing anything else. he is very confident at work and good at his job and i think that also is  part of the problem. its one place that he feels in control, even though he isnt very happy there.

now that i have reliased all of this..i dont know what to do next?
maybe if he became more confident in life he wouldnt rely on pot so much and he might be more interested in me in the bedroom......