hi, its been quite a while since i have visited. my husband has been doing well up until recently. last few weeks hes been smoking daily again. i know that unless he gets help this will always be the case and unless i leave him i just have to accept it. he goes well and then falls back into the same old patterns. i love the way to soften the blow he does nice things for me just before he disappears into his "mans room" to smoke his pot, for example he will make me a cup of tea. (like thats supposed to make it all ok?) all the same old excuses..oh its my night off..or its been a tuff few weeks at work..oh it was given to me....blah blah blah
but the main reason for my posting tonight is our sex life.... we dont have one!!!!!! it doesnt seem to bother him. probably because hes too stoned to care or even reliase. i just dont seem to understand it..arent MEN supposed to want it all the time???? can a man answer this question for me
i have brought the subject up many a time and he just doesnt seem too interested in talking about it.. we are both in our mid to late 30's.. have been together for 18years..i know that this is a long time and that the passion in relationships isnt as instense as when you first meet but come on.....
can anyone tell me out there what do i do??????? i love my husband and want to be intimate with him but its just not happening..i dont know if its me or him.he wont talk about it has the pot made him loose his libido? and before anyone asks.....im 100% positive that its not because there is someone else
Hello my friend from down under,, youve asked about my most favourite topic in recovery,,sex,,ha,ha,ha !!
Im going to share something from another culture regarding grass and sex drive.
In India where I come from, the grass culture includes regular sexual activity. The theory is that grass makes the act more spiritual/mystical and my grifriend and I were supposed to be on each other for ecstasic hours, not hurryng towards quick climax but indeed staying it. Graphic as this may sound, though the quickie did have it's place in the scheme of things, the general principle was to stay in each other for long hours without wanting repeated ejaculation and gratification through hurried climax.
But yes, the best years in my sex havent been on grass, and God knows I tried hard enough and long enough. The best years of my sex has truly been in recovery,, I give thanks to S, Sh, L and J , truly wonderful women, for facilitating those wonderful experiences. In fact the last such experience was so fabulous that Im now left wihout any craving for sex at all these last 10 months.
That said however, each must find their own practices. I think I have not have answered any of your concerns, but thanks for the opportunity to be able to share all that I did.
Best of NA luck to you,,
-- Edited by Raman on Sunday 29th of November 2009 09:21:13 PM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
In my opinion, the grass and the lenth of your relationship plus who knows what else are working against you, How long has he been smoking ? most likely a long time and in fact the long term effects are starting to kick in, a severe decrease in his libido being one, he'll never admitt to that, unfortunately that is very likely the main cause, unless he stops smoking the stuff I really don't forsee and improvement on your situation, I hate to say this to you, but sadly you may have to consider moving on for the sake of your well being, if he truly loves you he'll do what ever has to be done to save the relationship, I truly wish you luck, I know is very hard for you as you seem to love this man very much, God bless you!!
Ok i feel that i should post on this having experienced a lot with weed and sex. Having sex high is amazing, i have no idea why your boyfriend doesn't want it. I smoked weed for a few years and never had problems with sex, until i quit.... When i quit smoking i didnt want to eat, i couldnt get it up in the bedroom, it was like my penis was NUMB. I kept getting light headed (probably a result of not eating enough), horrible headaches. But it was horrible i wanted to have sex with my girlfriend but i simply coudnt, my shit was out of order! and it lasted for almost a month until i started taking herbal supplements like horny goat weed, to counteract what was happening. Or maybe my testosterone levels just raised to normal as the detoxing processes took place...
