so i decided to go to my parents house for dinner. it went exactly how i knew it would. i walk in they hug me and say they are sooooooooooooo glad to see me clean. then we eat. and then the bitches come out and argue with me and bitch about something. it doesnt matter what it is they always have something to bitch about. i mean i didnt even drive there because im not supposed to drive and i knew they would bitch about that so my sister sarah had to come get me. they would sit at the table in their perfect little family and talk and laugh and whatever and theres not enough chairs at the table for all of us so i sit in the living room on the couch on my laptop talking to manon and i just wanted to leave. but i couldnt because well i didnt drive. fuck me. and i really just hate this time of year because of the family gatherings and seeing all these happy little families out and about and i dont have that. i had to grow up way too fast and now i live with someone who is at work from 7am till midnight everynight and im here by myself with nothing to do. and i hate it. i dont know how much longer i can live like this but i think i might go insane. well more than i already am ha. and my heart is hurting right now and i have a feeling these new meds arent going to work too. well i feel like im going to pass out and i have to work tomorrow morning at 6am so that will suck. happy thanksgiving everyone.