The Steps are in the order that they are in for a reason. Put your all into the Step you are on. Not the Step you are going to be on. The 1st and 2nd Steps don't even mention God.

Your Higher Power doesn't have to be Jesus, Buddha, Allah, or Vishnu... it CAN be if you want, but it doesn't HAVE to be. Many people consider the group or the program itself as their Higher Power.

You get to choose your OWN understanding of God in the 3rd Step. Many people consider God to stand for "Good Orderly Direction".

" Many of us consider God to be the force that keeps us clean".   (Step 3, BasicText).

I have improvised that to considering God to be the force that not only keeps me clean but also serene.
When I am clean, I am serene and because I am serene i stay clean.

Yes, I pray for that serenity an each day cause resentment can still be the no. 1 offender.

I ask God to be clean and serene, just for today.

From my own research , all religions seem to say
"Ask and Thy shall recieve,
Seek and Thy shall find
Knock and the door will open".

And the concept of God does come from religion, but we dont have to be religious.
Whereas religiion is based on dogma and blind faith, NA offers me a chocie to make my own informed decisions.

Take the example of my own experience with sponsorship; there are many who would not agree that online sponsorship will work. They may have valid reason and there is no arguement with them. 
It is just that many times in my recovery, in order to simply survive another day, Ive had to make use of all resources available in recovery like online spnsorship, online Forums like this, live chats and snail mail, phone calls. This experience validates my belief that we need to be flexible.
In the first 5 years of recovery I did have "live sponsors", but then on, it has been by and large sponsors who were not present physically. Somelike Tom and Bob and Jeff  Id met briefly,  and after that they continued to sponsor me.
Some like Bill,Eric and Diana Ive never met in my life, but  they gave me the message.

Ive learned the immense value of being open minded to things I dont know about recovery yet. 
All that said and done, God certainly is the force that keeps me clean and serene, and includes aspects of Jesus, Buddha, Vishnu, Allah and Yoga.
(Ive enjoyed Mother Mary's Blessed Comfort may times too as I have experienced the magic of Gayatri, Indian Godess of Light and Love !!)

-- Edited by Raman on Tuesday 24th of November 2009 08:11:08 AM

vanleer wrote:

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I dont have a HP, let alone one that is personal. Need some real suggestions please.............

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i hear ya! the last thing i wanted to hear when i came to the rooms was:

A. you're powerless, steve.
B. you don't have the answers.

my sponsor taught me that i've been seeking a power greater than myself my whole life, and never knew it.  the dope man was a power greater than me. the judge was from time to time, too.

when i have a flat tire, the jack and tire iron in my trunk are definitely powers greater than myself.  when i'm lost, sometimes the guy at the corner gas station with directions is a power greater than me.

by walking into the rooms, i've learned that i'm already opening myself up to a power greater than me. and the power of the fellowship for a long time WAS the power greater than me.  hell - anything that would keep me from using for the next 5 minutes - next hour, next day.. all were powers greater than me.

my understand of a higher power has evolved over time, but is still nameless and faceless (i call it 'god' out of convenience) - but it's loving and bigger than me.

give yourself a break.  these things all work out in time.  don't use no matter what, follow your sponsors' suggestions.  :)

 

I am home sick with the flu and my mind is not 'right' but I had to respond.


The steps are in order, and I too looked at all those steps and said they won't work for me, cause I don't 'believe'.

Well after going to a lot of meetings, i came to and realized that drugs were not my problem, I was my problem. My complete obssesive/complusive (can't even spell today!) point of view made my crazy. So fianlly I admitted, 'I' could NOT fix myself.  I came to believe that my recovery depended on something greater then myself, something outside of myself. Call it what you may..... you can look at the rooms, the steps, or that Good Orderly Direction word, OR ANY COMBINATION OF THE 3.

I came to believe that going to meetings, sharing about my troubles, listening to others, caring about them,  made me feel better. You see i was dying a slow death, absorbed in my own sorrows.  My wife of 25 years reduced her feelings to 2 words "We're done"..and I thought my life was over.....

While sitting in a cafeteria with 2 young friends, an older gentleman sat between us and asked me "did I know that my late father had died in his arms?" No I did not I responded. I looked at him and said "are you a friend of Bill W's?" He said yes, and I said I needed to talk to him.

He waited for me outside, and told me how my dad had gotten him in the program decades earlier, and saved his life. He said he was bi-polar too...and his wife of 47 yrs had just given him the boot....

I took this as a message from my higher power, from my dad, that my life was NOT over, and I could recover. From that day forward I have viewed the rooms, the steps, and MY HP ALL as parts of my recovery.

Give yourself a break, stop disqualifying yourself from the program. Consider approaching all difficult situtations being honest, oepnminded, and willing. Your life will get better.....