It will all work out Manon, just keep doing what you got to do.

And that's exactly what I am doing now !

Living just for today, keeping the focus on here and now, doing the next right thing and Meditating a lot.

Bags are packed and ready, but it hasnt been just another town along the road.
Benn sharing meetings that Ive got to move on and had lot of support and lot of tears too.

I can identfy with the not connecting.

We wil miss you, many said and I was thinking
"Gods sake, you already missed me."
There i was for a year and I did what I had to do, but never actually closed in on anyone.
Ive done service, shared at meetings, was in the main share at the UK National Convention,
driven newcomers to meetings and carried some message, bought the hungry addict burgers,
and all that.
That said however, without wanting to sound bitter cause Im not, when the chips are down we got to face things alone.

All this bloody detached, insensitive attitude is ridiculous. Must be the perpetual cold here that makes people here cold too.

In my culture, where I come from, hospitality is a way of life. A visitor will be given a lot of attention, taken into homes, and basically shown a lot of friendliness.

Whereas here, it seems like people are friendlyonly to the extent that one displays symbols of money, property and prestige. People seem to be objects, to be used by each other !

Well, all that said and having lambasted the wrongs of others here, I know that this has been a wonderful experience for me.

I am now awarded a Masters in my subject, a recovery ambition, Ive lived entirely on my own for this 15 months, almost monk llike. This has brought me in touch with myself, as I have never experienced before, and have formed a great network of friends both in NA and outside. Then there has been the treatment for hep.c, nearly 20 dollars worth, all for free.

So in drawing up a balance sheet, Id say Im a winner, by far !

And im not done yet, and like they say here
"Oh to be in England in April".

Im looking to make a lot of money by April, playing my sa, teaching and selling off old stuff, and come to London then and do some music, do NA service, attend many meetings then and take a break too,,, a real three month holiday.
An unplanned, "emerging from the ground" sort of thing, an attitude Ive formed ever since I gained a sense of detachment some years ago.

Keeping in mind, the last lines of the poem Vagabond by Stevenson,
"Bed in the bush , with the stars above,
Give to me the life I love, and the road below me".

Raman,
I hope you keep coming back here even after you move.
Good luck with all your plans.

   Manon ,Your own health and mind are the most important,take care of yourself first.Although your jokes are great.