I meet the young girl my husband was attempting to talk to. She told me what I needed to hear. My husband is a big liar and master manipulator. He is constitutionally unable to be honest with himself or others. I was going to send him money to the jail and allow him to call me once a week but I will no longer be putting money on the card or sending him money to the jail. This man needs to hit rock bottom so that God can save him. I am only standing in the way of God. It is funny how things come to full circle. I found my husband in jail. He had nothing not even a car. He filled the void that was missing in my life. Today, I recognized that there is a void within me but I am now allowing the God of my understanding the opportunity to fill this void. My heart will eventually heal. I never really knew who my husband was, I only saw what I wanted to see.
Thank you all for listening and a place to vent my anger and frustrations.
Accept the things we can not change, people , places things and situations.
We can have no serenity until we accept certain things, I had something happen yesterday myself I was lied to and it felt like 500 pounds on my chest I literally got worried I might have a heart attach it hurt so deeply, but you know within a few hours I was ok with it and understood and accepted what it was, it was out of my control and I didn't have to try and make it to be in my control I just had to let it go, then I found serenity.
HAng in there your doing the right thing the spiritual thing and thats this program.
Deltared, We say"pain shared is pain lessened" Even when we think we have totally surrendered for some reason we have to dig deep to see 'DID WE REALLY! Keep coming back,do what you need for "yourself"get off the rollercoaster and begin 'your life..It is difficult to not be bitter but try not let the resentments,anger and pain 'take you under.Yes ,turn over your will,try and get out of the way and let the 'work happen! peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
DeltaRed, my heart goes out to you! I understand only too well the pain that comes from seeing someone you loved as you want them to be, other than what they really are. We are all willfully blind at times... especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. Give yourself a break...
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I may not be 'All That', but I'm always on my mind!
You said "I am only standing in the way of God. " Great insight..and isn't it just wonderful at least to know you are not alone in that, and there's a big line of us who have "been there, done that"! :)
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
LETTING GO OF THOSE RESENTMENTS IS SO VERY HARD TO DO, YET A MUST IF WE ARE TO RECOVER. SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN WE ARE CERTAIN WE HAVE, A SITUATION MAY ARISE WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU HAVENT TRULY GIVEN IT ALL TO YOUR HIGHER POWER.
I GUESS THATS WHY NA IS AN ONGOING PROCESS!! TO TAKE THOSE DAILY INVENTORIES AND CATCH THOSE THINGS !!!! THOSE THINGS THAT WITHOUT GOD, HAVING CONTACT WITH ANOTHER ADDICT (PREFERABLY A SPONSOR) AND OUR OPEN MINDEDNESS AND WILLINGNESS, CAN LEAD US TO RELAPSE.
YOU SOUND TO ME LIKE YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE AND ARE WELL ON YOUR WAY TO CHANGING THE THINGS YOU CAN. CONGRATS!!!!!
KEEP COMING BACK !! THEY ARE RIGHT, THERE ARE SO SO MANY OF US WHO HAVE FILLED THAT VOID WITH MEN THAT WERENT GOOD FOR US.TO GET WELL, THEY HAVE TO GO.!!!! GOD WILL EASE YOUR PAIN. WE WILL EASE WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT! LOL KEEP SHARING. WE LOVE YOU
THOSE THINGS THAT WITHOUT GOD, HAVING CONTACT WITH ANOTHER ADDICT (PREFERABLY A SPONSOR) AND OUR OPEN MINDEDNESS AND WILLINGNESS, CAN LEAD US TO RELAPSE.
GOD WILL EASE YOUR PAIN. WE WILL EASE WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT! LOL KEEP SHARING. WE LOVE YOU
