Hello Newbie and welcome to the board. You could always attend AA meetings (same 12 steps, in fact the original 12 steps) and find a sponsor there. If you look in your local AA meeting schedule for "step meetings" or "12 & 12" meetings, they are weekly and read/discuss 1 step per week. It's a great way to learn the steps and find a sponsor in one of those meetings to help you work them.

Forgot to mention-Try not to isolate yourself-Its not good for you or your recovery. For me, isolation is a BIG TIME trigger. Also, check out BigV's thread on Just For Today. It's really good today-About Lonliness-how that the love we recieve from NA gets us out of lonliness. When I was in active addiction, I would isolate myself from EVERYTHING-Just made me that much more miserable.

Thanks for your input, it has got me thinking. I did meet a guy a week ago in NA who did offer to sponser me, but he said his way would be through the AA "Big Book"; since he was taught that way. I did buy a copy of the NA book and for whatever reason I feel I need to work through that, since I am a drug addict. I have set a goal to find someone by weeks end, if I cannot find a better-willing canidate; I will ask the guy I met last week. I am in no risk of relapse right now (because of meds), so I am not too desperate... But I will continue to go to meetings daily and attempt to reach out.

On another note, I do not have a higher power... I have been told that I could use the fellowship as my higher power, but it is damn akward for me to pray for anything. This is what I have to work with:

I believe in good and evil on earth, and I suppose heaven and hell on earth; shaped by the way you live your life. You are happy when you live morally and depressed when inmoral. I dont believe in much after death, but like to think life is recycled. I believe in evolution and only trust what I can see. Sure there are higher powers than me, the earth, the fellowship, the sun, and the self-less good in some of the world.

How can I make this work best for me in working steps?


Thanks for your support, you are all good people.


-- Edited by Newbie on Wednesday 14th of October 2009 01:21:44 PM

Newbie wrote:

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On another note, I do not have a higher power... I have been told that I could use the fellowship as my higher power, but it is damn akward for me to pray for anything. This is what I have to work with:

I believe in good and evil on earth, and I suppose heaven and hell on earth; shaped by the way you live your life. You are happy when you live morally and depressed when inmoral. I dont believe in much after death, but like to think life is recycled. I believe in evolution and only trust what I can see. Sure there are higher powers than me, the earth, the fellowship, the sun, and the self-less good in some of the world.

How can I make this work best for me in working steps?


Thanks for your support, you are all good people.


-- Edited by Newbie on Wednesday 14th of October 2009 01:21:44 PM

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Newbie, working the steps Will help you to find a higher power.  The second step  in particular.   One way to approach the adoption of a higher power that can work in your life is to consider it  a psychological model.    Have a slight bit of open mindedness and put away your "contempt  prior to investigation" (prejudice) and go along with it to obtain the desired results.  "If You want what we have then you should be willing to take certain steps."  We can't customize the program for ourselves.  "Half measure avail as nothing" (we can't work half the program).  Are you "At the turning point" or would you just as soon go back to using rather than  be "willing to go to any lengths" for your recovery?   If not, then you probably have some more using to do.  It's one way or the other and We've all been on both sides of that fence.  You've got to come all the way over.  What have you got to lose in terms of believing that a  higher power can restore you to sanity?

 

-- Edited by DeanC on Wednesday 14th of October 2009 03:23:50 PM

Hi newbie!!

I had wrote yesterday and got distracted and my son erased the whole darn pageOh well, Im sure it was too long anyhow! All of my posts usually are as you will see because you sound like you just may well stick around! GREAT! Thats one of the things that will keep us sober. Just keep coming back! It was said a couple of times already, but I am going to say it again: isolation is probably one of the most dangerous things for an addict especially in the beginning!  When I was less than a year clean and without a car, I did everything in my power including calling every single number on the call sheets they gave me beginning 3 or 4 hours before the meeting! Make sure you ask for one in every meeting you go to ok? 

Suboxone. I have read some pretty intense posts about this issue and heres where I stand on it:( **remember though that none of us are doctors, and every body is different and it takes a qualified prof. **)  I personally think that suboxone is an awesome breakthrough for treating addiction  if used AS PRESCRIBED,and in conjunction with a complete and honest recovery program. When I first got clean, what I did was I looked at it as taking something because I am SICK. We have a disease called addiction. When through working my program with a sponsor I have become stable, then that medicine is needed less and less. Please do not feel like you are not sober because of it or inferior in any way (mikes words)!! It is not the enemy here. Our addiction is!!!! Whats right for another person may not be right for you & this is YOUR recovery. Do what it takes !!!
I was strung out on pills for 20 years!! Taking as many as 30-40++ a day, and different kinds to boot. I finally had a head on collision that could have cost me my life had I not been wearing my seat belt!. The miracle being that I NEVER wore my seat belt in my active addiction days! Devine intervention He had bigger and better plans for me! So hey, if taking 2mg of suboxone keeps me moving  toward the ultimate goal and OFF THE STREETS  then at the risk of starting a war I say take it. Unfortunately, I caused myself to have lifelong chronic pain that we are trying to get under control. Although I lived, My right foot was in 74 pieces! I have a plastic heal, missing two bones completely, and whole lot  of nerve damage that causes it to feel like little knives are stabbing me! !.
My story is why I say if used as prescribed, suboxone has a purpose. For a little over two years I took the couple dif. things they had me on as prescribed. I never got a high feeling and was working my program with all my heart and soul!!  Life was good and I felt that I was headed in the right direction. About 4-6 months ago, I started to isolate and quit going to meetings. This had snowballed into me taking more than prescribed etc...  I recognized a relapse when I saw one (even though I  had not touched another type of drug)  I began to gamble, and got so far into myself I didnt even hear what others were saying to me. I am now back to taking it correctly and am seeing another doctor about possibly operating to try and repair more of the nerve damage. Pray he comes up with some answers
My lack of working the program  and isolating myself  caused the relapse , not the suboxone.!! Just like any other medication it will be sold, abused etc...to give it a bad rep. but I am thankful for it because it did what it was supposed to do.   You have to be "in recovery" for suboxone to be effective and there is no shame in it in my eyes. I dont say that just because I take it! I see mothers who once ran the roads day and night taking it , working their program, and functioning for the first time for many of them in  a decade or more!!! Eager to work their programs and  beat their disease. I did not hit bottom until my wreck , and  it was too late for me to save my family. 
I feel blessed and very very grateful to be both in this world and in these rooms !!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LOVED HERE AND LOVE ALL MY NEW FRIENDS!!

Please keep coming back and continue to seek out meetings! Your doing great! GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! Focus on the recovery ,put away the shame, and know you have a disease. You wont be on medication forever. Pray to  your Higher Power and he will guide you into weaning  when the RIGHT TIME has come.(along with a professional of course! lmao )   Give yourself the time to stabilize and quit beating yourself up about it. PLEASE . You ARE x amount of days clean and sober.

Thats just my 2 cents.....I hope sharing that part of my story helps you in some way. GOD BLESS YOU
Carol                                                        omg it was shorter yesterday!!!!!LMAO

though my story was long, that is exactly what I meant.  To me, its better than being in the streets still actively using...but to work your program and wean from it as quickly as possible. It also contain Naloxone which blocks the effects of any other opiod you might try to put in your systym.  http://www.suboxone.com/patients/suboxone/
I realize that this is a very very HOT issue and believe we all have the right to our opinion. i am just speaking from experience and what I have seen in others. Other women that Im not sure would have made it with out it. Im not saying at all that it should be common place to be taking it.  But....

I do have to disagree with your saying that I am not clean and sober because I still take it. Those of us with chronic severe  pain, who take it as prescribed and have tried all the other alternatives are not considered clean? ?

Thanks for reposting your thread Carol, you have all got me thinking me. I will let you know how things work out with everything and I will take a look at those pages in the book later this evening; thanks Chris.

Thanks a bunch.

Thanks for sharing your situation with us "Newbie", welcome to Miracles In Progress, believe me, you ARE one too Keep coming back, it does get better... big NA Hugs to you.