Retched memories, but, as promised, without regret, wrenching the miracle of recovery
from the depths of hell,
Even hell masquerading as heaven, and I, the slumgoddess of the lower east side,
milking it for all it was worth,
Never once considering the destruction to come,
Eventually suffering the agony of defeat,
licking my plate in public while shame was vested upon my dear one, who innocently only came out to play, and
Was dragged to the depths, tethered to sick souls. I wonder
if the peace accrued from making living amends, the God-given gifts keeping me
Alive, infuses within others, as I step carefully from dying to surviving, to
Living and thriving, myself, hopefully, a copy of the big book, the basic text, that I often read, being restored to sanity with the blessed awakening and joyful renewal of my weary soul.
(Backstory: while not "the" original slumgoddess of the Fugs song-that would be Suze Rotolo, Bob Dylyn's chick)-I do claim credit for definately being "the " one from E. 2nd & Ave C. back in the day LOL ; my "dear one" is my daughter, whose middle name is Prudence, from the Beatle's Dear Prudence-won't you come out to play. The "sick souls" were her druggie/alkie parents. Thank God for those living amends.)
__________________
From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
ty so much for your smarts they help and I just wish I could get it right my head is a mess I bareley remeber this past month every since I shared my "story" things have gotten really weird with that person like I said I feel like I have been in a month long black out. Not because of usage but just because well the DID thing is so not helping atm
__________________
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
i did find a therapist that can help with that tho here in my area that is a blessing couldn't come at a better time thatnks for all the support Iain't going anywhere
__________________
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Hey LEEU! GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU.its amazing my 2 40 year old children seem to have it together pretty well.They are 'recreational users" and havent gone off the deep end. anyway!!!They lived thru my 25 years of active addiction and I can only think 2 things.1) they watched me disintegrate and said NAH, I'LL PASS THAT UP OR 2)Because (until the end) I was a "functioni ng addict they presumed thats what people did??Anyway when we hooked up this year after 31 years of distance they told me that they knew some things were going on but told me I did the best I could for them at the time.Man that was a revelation ,all the years of guilt and what I did etc..so I try to present a spiritual program of life and WORK a RECOVERY PROGRAM as i REAR MY 20 YEAR OLD CHILDREN AND WHAT DO WE GET "a daughter we had to put in PINS ' PROGRAM AT 12(since flourished ,deans list college student,teacher at 21 and a 23 year old son struggling with heroin addiction. ,now put on the street,,.It is an amazing journey and I can only be 'HUMBLED " to still be around for the next 24.In texas I worked some 9th step with my older children and learned a lot,at home with my kids now I am working on 'ME' EVERYDAY cause thats all I got ,guided by my spiritual/faith beliefs.Sky Pilot ,how high can you fly,you'll never,never,ever reach the sky!!!(told my wife to play at my departure from this world!)Animals early on. love them,,,,,,,peace
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
