Hello tisa2u! hope this day is finding you well! You have shared my pain in my most "recent" endeavor with my son who is now out of our house.Each day as my eyes open,before my feet hit the floor,I thank the God of my understanding for another day of life and pray to bring all honor,praise and glory by my actions and thoughts to my God.The "it" for me is stepping back and letting it happen.Sooo hard as I continually take my will back ,like I got the answers or something!! hellooo! I dont....Watching the miracles come ,usually not like anything I would have planned(ahh yeah)continues to amaze and humble me..Like I said before my GOD IS COOL! our relationship(not a religion)is awesome.We talk all day ,everyday,and at times(a lot of times) I can almost hear"You ain't listening mike,pay attention!! And I try!! have a blessed and productive day!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
The most recent "OK God, I get it." has to do with needing to get a lot better about curbing and hopefully reducing the anger I bless others with when I'm feeling threatened or frustrated by their actions. Nothing physical, or "personal"..this is related to a committee that I advise that is always resisting and trying to overturn what they don't want to hear or do, but must, and the leader gets pretty manipulative. I, of course, get ticked and let them know it. Not appropriate in my professional role and thus I have paid a price for being perceived as too harsh or controlling. Politically, it's not a "two-way street"...only one party can be faulted, and that's me. Which just makes me madder, don't you know!! Still...I gotta reel it in!! So, I just thank God for pointing that out and try, try again!
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Good question. So where I was at today. Today I was out with my sponsor and best friend for a road trip meeting. The car ride there is usually venting about the weeks life on life's terms events that have occurred. The car ride home is reflection time. On the ride home my sponosr was helping me inventory an encounter I had with another women in the felowship whom I don't care for. For much the reasoin my sponsor is my sponsor, she tells me "I need to practice letting people be where they are at in their process and love them through it. Just like was done for me." I thought at that point "okay God, I get it." Since the review of my 9th step with my sponsor when 90% of my amends were to simply "be nice" I have been wondering what the lesson was I was missing. Now I know I am lackking in letting people be where they are and the unconditional love they need. Hugs, Jackie
ITs reads and re-reads like this ones that makes me fully understand (ok God I Get It!)why its so VERY important to keep our butts in the seats if we are to make it through coming out the other side a serene, spiritual person!
Now to practice this in all of my affairs!!!!!SOmetimes ,well alot of times, I find it easier to "be nicer" to my fellow na members than my own damn husband. I find that soooo sad. But if i would listen to myself,to others, and to GOD in the end....it wouldnt be so hard!:):)
oh oh oh .......i get it! that happens to me alot lately./ as I am trying to climb my way back up out of the hole I put myself in with all the "its all about me" behaviors I have practiced in the last 6 months!!
There are so so so many things I hear that I once thought was "cute" or say to myself oh thats good, hope I remember that.....I wrote fairly recently that we are dead in the water if we stop taking those "cute little sayings" seriously.
