You look at me and wonder why so sad?
Just glad someone noticed me as I was going mad.
No one ever asks why I feel so bad,
for fear they will wakr the monster who lives here.
You seemed to have misunderstood as I told you what I could.
Dying to belong........has it really been that long?
Years feel like minutes, yet throughout the misery; I still want someone near to me.
Always willing to try again
Fall after fall
will I ever get it all?
A heart waiting to be mended.
Pondered whether or not if I will always be by myself.
Living with in my Daydreams.
So no one has to hear my screams.
Nightmares are turning into night terrors.
Because of the images I see as I am looking in the mirror.
Wanting desperately to see, what you see.
Being able to believe in  me
Knowing one day Love will set me free
Even when I am afraid to be me
No matter how draining it seems
It has to be better in my daydreams
Afraid you might hear my screams
Misunderstood once again it seems;
Nightmares are turning into night terrors
The stares and glares are coming from everywhere.
Do I dare to let you in?
Just to be put thru all that despair again?
When you realize just how much I care?
When ppl come into my nightmare.
Resilient as I seem to appear
I still fear to let anyone near
Because if you look closely enough you might just see a tear.
As I  fight to make my head clear,
Clinging to the things I hold dear.
Pictures are just a memory
A piece of time captured only for me
Reminds me of what lies behind me
Some full of the fears that confine me
Living a life alone
lost within my mind
With only my words that I shared
Are left so you can find me
longing to let another inside my mind
silently screaming for someone to walk beside me.


I wrote that aug 22nd as some of my words were being put to sound and that inspired me to write once again for that i will always be grateful.
I am going thru a rough patch I know I will make it I always do the ? being will I make it out alive?