All i can say is keep posting Keli and share whats going on inside that's what this is all about, we all wish you the very best and hope you hang on and dont give up this too shall pass I am in a great deal of pain also right now its like a major crisis going on inside it feels like I lost my little cat chelsea all over again the disspare and loss and absolute powerlessness but i keep praying for help and an amazing thing happened for me tonight, I still have a wonderful friend who is my ex girlfriend she hasn't dumped me as a friend and that means so much to me, someone caring that much after all I have said and done.
There are still wonderful people out there in the world who WONT GIVE UP ON US no matter how bad we are , there are people who care greatly for our well being who have loving souls and open hearts, so hang in there girl, BLESSINGS .
hey keli......as another person who struggles with borderline personality, a lot of your writtings sound very familuar.... my thought patterns used to always lie in the areas that you write.... they don't always today stay so negative.... but that was a commitment for me to change that... to identifiy where my disorder starts and where I began.... I am not my disorder and I am not my behaviours.... What helps me stay out of the negative is consiously replacing every negative thought with a positive one. Yes this at first took a lot of my time... but what it did was it started replacing the negative tapes that consistently played through my head. Now I do have my slips and some days I still sit in my negative shit, but there definitly a light at the end of this.... I know true happyness without drugs, and I've discoved true love...... I for once in my life respect myself, and demand respect from others.....but I had to work hard to get this, and I have to continue to work really hard to keep it... that's through step work, a 3 month in pacient mental health program, lots of meetings, and a close contact with my sponsor.......As I was reading your post I was thinking why "god" needed to be of the bible one?...... I believe in god but it's my own god.... i don't truely understand it, and I probably never will, but what I do know is that it represents love, understanding, and compassion......I used to struggle with the word "god" because I used to be a satanist..... today that religion doesn't work in my life, and really no organized religion does... but what work is a spiritual one, which is much simpilar.........
This is just what worked for me..... and it's just a thought for you....
andrea
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people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
Drug free, your words speak volumes to me and to everyone I know that suffers from this deadly and dreadful disease. I do like that fact that you are a person and not your disorder. I see everyone like that too. I am not flirting, for I only have a heart for one, but I do think your hair is kick ass. I am not trying also to push my beliefs on you as well as I understand that our God, at least here, is how we understand him. You just have to understand that I come from a Christian background and I am in the Bible Belt. I have never known any other concept of God, but I also know about the "great religion" which is about balance, about peace, about walking the path of truth and beauty. This is from my Native American roots.
