thought I would sign in and let everyone know they are loved and today is a ggreat day for a gratitude list . I'll start I am grateful to have peace of mind just for today!
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I am greatful to have some serenity under great stress, I am greatful to have gotten the keys to my new home yesterday and have some money saved to get it nice and cleaned up to live in soon, I am very very greatful today , thanks Manon
Thank you Manon! I am grateful to be heading to the JERSEY shore(Seaside Heights) for a week to chill and rest up from work and lifes regular routines with my wife and our 24 year old son.Our 21 year old daughter was married 2 weeks ago and there was a lot of energy expended with family from 4 different states converging on us and we are ready to gear down now and go play!!Grateful for the opportunity! peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I am greatfulI 1. That I can think things through. 2. For the support and understanding of my daughter Anjana and my mother. 3. for the Fellowship 4. for the opportunity to do higher studies 5. that I have other interests tht balance my life and keep me energetic 6 that I am single now and can seriously inventory who I really am without having to relate myself to a woman to understand my identity and all the fears and frustrations , exitement and elation that come into existence in an intimate relationships that Ive had for almost 30 years of my life. 7. that Ive been off the work and could support myself. I needed that break after 12 years of continous work in bars, hotels, clubs, etc. and the occasiional stage show, recording that almost got me thinking like a workaholic . And Id done another 10 years before that as nursery school owner, antiques business proprieter and lots of travelling around the countryside. 8. that I have a potentially great opportunity looming large ahead on the horizon and have to see how I cope with it. 9. that i have initially cleared the Hep.c. virus 10. that I have the medical care
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Oh come on now Keli sweetheart, things canot be as bad as they seem. Or at least, if things are bad, then they cannot stay that way too long.
This comes to you from a 48 year old, international recovering addict, who has had the Grace to side step the deadly moments and survived in recovery for 21 and a half years and a little more. Whenever Ive been dejected in love, Ive had to stay put.
Just take my last affair. I met this pretty wpoman on internet, we did a lot of chatting and we decided in sometime that we wanted each other so badly. The next thing was to overcome the 14000 miles that seperated us. She planned to come to India to meet me but that never happened. Thats when I decided to give it my best shot. I threw all I had, including a 60000 dollar a year career in music and events, left my 13 yer old in the care of my aged mother, spent another 20000 dollars to get student visa, and came came here to meet J in England. Boy did we have some very fab, fun and intimate moments, real feelings of closenes there.
Then complications came up; I was diagnosed with hep.c, she had bouts of madness herself, I wanted to give the studies a good chance too and therefore it all came to nought. The pain of letting go seemed beter than the pain of holding on, so I decided to move on with my life. And there was a lot of fear first about what will happen to me, will I ever find true love again, etc. The bright part is that things have been going well in my life, inspite of what i thought. I have been doing very well in studies, Im doing all the service I can in NA, I go and visit my little girl every two months or so, Im doing all the things that indicate that I am a responsible and productive member of society, and am greatful for all the things that are going my way !
But know what, after we split 8 months ago, there is a hole in my soul, that I don't seem to be able to fill up. That feeling of having missed something out, sometimes feeling like all this is meaningless without J's love, and my own reluctance to jump into another affair, have made me feel very sad at times. The other day I was tripping out on the song Brown eyes blue, and so many other small reminders of our love affair can make me feel wistful, and sometimes in great self- pity.
But through all of this, I am reminded that TOUGH TIMES NEVER LAST, BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO !
God gives me strength,
-- Edited by Raman on Sunday 23rd of August 2009 04:21:27 AM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
ditto on the computer I am really grateful just because Ihave felt " mentally stable" all weekend which is a huge change from the whole year just glad I was able to wait it out but not alone Never
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I am grateful for inpatient units tonight. I am grateful for forgiveness. I am also grateful for second and even third chances. I am grateful for those that trust me. I am grateful for the hope of true love. I am grateful for having safe place to sleep tonight where I can't hurt myself, the people I love or the people I love. I am grateful if they consider a future with me. I am grateful even if they tell me no. I will be grateful, if they tell me the truth so I can trust them. I am grateful for this place, where I can share and bear my soul. Goodnight all, I will catch up with you when they let me out.
