Dear Manon, here's something from 12-Step literature that I regularly read and make use of. Sharing this with the help that it might help you too... As usual, as per the freedom we each have found in the fellowship, take what you think or feel you can make use of... AND LEAVE THE REST

"While investigating our social lives, we found that our social circle was limited to a very small group of people.

Some of us were not satisfied with the limited social network in our lives and were constantly on the hunt to get new people into our lives, letting our old relationships die, hoping that our lives would improve this way.

However, we discovered that our relationship problems were similar and recurrent be it with our old social circle or the new ones we replaced them with.

Thus we realized that even the death of old relationships and the birth of new ones did not guarantee or secure a successful and satisfactory social life for us.

Eventually, we had to stop seeking new people all the time, and begin working on our relationships with the people who were already there in our life.

As a result, our social life deepened, and we began to feel safer in our social life, letting others get to know our real self.

Gradually, as we let go of our dissatisfaction with the fact that we were powerless over the people in our life, we realized that we needed to learn to accept that the ones we wanted to be part of our social circle may have a path in life that excludes them from our social life, and others that we do not want as a part of our social circle would be there for us instead.

Many times, we discovered that a person we did not want in our social circle gave us exactly that information which was vital for our existential growth.

From these experiences, we understood that we were ignorant about who among our social circle were beneficial for our life.

Some of us hoped that if only we could find and unite with our significant other, our soul mate, all of our existential problems with our humanity would disappear.

But those among us who actually found such love and were living in such a relationship discovered that we had the same problems in our social life as everybody else.

We neither had control over our beloved nor over our coupleship.

In this way, once again, we came face to face with our dissatisfaction with the fact that we were powerless over other people and our relationship with them even when the love shared was complete and unconditional."

Hi Manon, i try and keep it simple and within NA terms,

" our people pleasing behaviour carried us deepere into our addiction" and I try to stay concious of situation sn people with whom I display that pattern.

Generalizing is very wrong and each of us will have different needs.
As I tried and noted all these years in the NA rooms, AA rooms, social clubs, events and festivals and neighbourhood it seems like many us wil be quite comfortable even if we are not surrounded by people, whereas other needs to have the many in their life, to feel contented on a daily basis.

Another factor is that wealth and success gives us recognition in social circles, and on the converse, if we dont really have too many friends we may feel low self-worth.

I am luck to be one of those who will welcome moments of solitude because I think solitude is bliss, and when I am with family and friends, I cherish those moments too.

I rememebr talking to a previous sponsor about these issues and he'd said
" many of us march to a different drummer" and then he went on to say that balance is an intutive thing, we should let our Better Senses inform us when we need to be in our own company and when we need the company of others.

Like this day will be quite balanced too, the entire day was spent in study time and official work, whereas now Im leaving for the train station to meet another addict and together we will visit otherham, a town 10 miles away and do a NA meeting there, and then do some Fellowship after that !
Been quite a good day emotionally .