I won't tell my whole story...its pretty generic. Got injured, got pain pills, they helped with anxiety, got hooked, asked for help, got suboxone, 7 months later quit suboxone, months of horrible wds, lost 25 lbs, never touched an opiate after stopping the suboxone(1st time), doctor suggested I go back on after seeing how physically destroyed I was from the WDs, I regrettably agreed, later diagnosed with ADHD which caused my anxiety, got on an ADHD med, helped immensely, but now again addicted to suboxone, quit three days ago... hoping it will be easier this time, it seems to be at the moment.
I just need some support... I love helping people, but I hate being helped. I always have to be okay, strong, have it together. Nobody can know that I'm falling apart. ... But the truth is that I am.
I need this program. I need to know how to start. My immediate family are the only people who know about my addiction. I feel like I need to talk to people, let people know what is going on with me, in order to get better. I am so ashamed of becoming an addict. 4 months on oxycodone = 1.5 years on suboxone... what a mess I made.
I feel like I am rambling.
I just want to know how to forgive myself. I never stole, I never harmed my family or friends, I just hurt myself. I have apologized to my family over and over, and they say its okay. They support me 100%, but I can't shake this guilt.
I'm probably saying all the wrong things here, and please correct me if that is the case. Just tell me what I need to do, and I will do it.
Hey sukitup! MikeF here..definitely welcome..first there really is "no wrong thing' to say here.share from your heart,honestly and that will release some demons.There is no shame in admitting you are an addict and looks like you realize"you are powerless over your addiction .your life has become unmanageble,first step to freedom..keep coming back,.It looks as if you are willing to listen to suggestions,so start there.hope to here more from ya peace!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
glad to meet you man mike is right nothing sais here will suprise us we have all done some of the same stuff man we are here for each other and ourselfs because we know that we are addicts and need each other to stay clean so keep coming back it works if you work it
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
Welcome to the board Sukitup. The solution is in the steps. We can forgive ourselves and be free. For myself I accepted totally my unmanageability . So to keep it simple , every way I thought , Every way I reacted was wrong. Im re-training myself from the ground up. Through working a 4th step all defects of charector were laid in front of me. Sort of a personal to-do list. Then in the 5th .....Dump em .
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
Welcome to Miracles In Progress family 'sukitup', glad you are here with us. One good place to start with is try and make a NA meeting near where you live. You can use the 'meeting locator' tool at the website www.na.org to find a NA meeting near you.
And then yes, STAY WITH US HERE It Works!
Best wishes, support and fellowship hugs.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I am very new here too but i can so relate to what you said "helping others but not yourself" because that is me exactly. Today makes 2 weeks I've been home from recovery. I detoxed in the hospital & then went to a recovery house for about 6 wks. Please don't ever be ashamed or embarrassed about what you say on these boards. That's what their for. You've already done the hardest part by just by admitting your an addict. Go to meeting they are like medicine to us addicts. I have an incredible support system also and like you I couldn't do this w/out them. Please keep coming back. Good Luck, Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
