my family is going to visit me this weekend in treatment. im not really looking forward to it since the last time we talked it was screaming. i wish that they would just understand and support me but all they can say is that im an idiot and a failure. so what i screwed up. no ones perfect. im stressed beyond belief and havent slept in 4 days. and today i was craving weed really bad. just to calm myself down and not worry about them coming. im expecting the worst but maybe it wont be that bad. im just surprised that my dad is coming since he abused me when i was younger. i havent forgiven him yet but whatever. i just want to get it over with and move on. i know they love me but they're just a**holes and i could care less. whatever im rambling.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Hi Liz. When my family came to meet at the treatment centre it felt very strange. I tried to pin the feelings and later I got it; they were being educated on how to handle the drug addict. From then on it has been a very disturbed relationship with my family which I have had to constantly work on to maintain the serenity.. Before that even in the using times, we somehow got along without too much anger, hate, blaming and the like. But in reovery, al those feelings got magnified. I'd actually not had these terrble quarrels and fights with my family in using but in recovery it became a constant feature. I guess the counselling my family got was not adequate, and as for me I did not have NA recovey as there were no recovering addicts then. The help I got from the other Fellowship stayed me clean but I never got the Serenity angle.
I hope that what I have sufered in on your behalf too and that you wil enjoy a fine, warm, loving and serene relationship with your family.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Hey Liz mikef here! Not much I can say except I will be thinking and praying for you .Try not to project the worst,easier said then done,I know ,but give yourself a chance.Remember you also have "family' here too. peace MikeF..Let us know how things went...!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Hey Raman! mikef here, just saying goodmorning,wish you peace also and hopefully serenity.Yes I still play my drums whenever I can.Play in pick up bands now and again but havent hooked up with people in awhile."I dont want to play ,I just want to bang on my drums all day!!!" Have a blessed weekend
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Hey---presumably you don't HAVE TO see anyone you don't want to. So, if you CHOOSE TO, try this: say what you need to say...treatment is usally a pretty decent place to get some of it out, even if it is not heard by the one who needs to hear it. R U talking with your counselor? Your peers? Anyone there supporting and helping you? Marshall the troops, pick your battles, and know that in God's love you will NOT be defeated, regardless of surface appearance. Best wishes...hang tuff.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you have to go through that. Family anxiety is the worst, and it triggers the worst side of me. I hope you can find peace and get through this without feeling like ****. Good luck.
Liz, you got great piece of wisdom as your signature, that could be a good thing to follow in context of the situation? It does take time, a few days, weeks, months or even a year or two, but it does all change, the family situations I mean...
The more I stay clean and work my Program, the more I was liberated from my family issues, over time...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
