I did step work on Saturday.... One of those steps where ya gotta look at the past a bit realistically... the list one... you know, 8 ...lol. I don't have a ton of wreckage due to the fact that I really despised leaving my bedroom when I was in active addiction; that said, my list wasn't too long. Anyway I felt good after but mostly in the "Yay I'm so great cuz I finished another step" way... I went to a meeting by myself that night which is a rarity these days.. I'm usually with a group of people which is awesome but It felt like the old days before i had this entourage. ok that sounds bad but its kinda true....I felt like a newcomer... So totally and completely present. Not on my phone texting all of my recovery friends during the meeting, obsessing about the fun night we have planned. I have so much freaking fun with my NA friends that sometimes I take it for granted in the places that made it possible; the rooms. Of course God revealed this to me in a loving way... I felt present and blessed and I've had this awesome serenity since that night. I'm so greatful. Dude, this post made no sense and I don't even care cuz i love everything and I'm freakin CLEAN! WTF?! AMAZING. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH:)
One thing this program makes me do is introspectively look at what's going on inside Vini, sounds like your the same way. I call it taking inventory because most of the time I feel a bit uncomfortable and maybe even unsure of whats going on and if I'm ok.
I pretty much start some if not most of my days this way, waking cracking open my eyes I say to myself " Am I ok right now enough to get up and get started "? most of the time i'm not LOL I just wake up feeling like crap most of the time unless it's a day that I have absoutely nothing going on and I am free to do what I like which is pretty much nothing , no responsibilty's to anyone, no stress of work or having to be some where at a specific time, just free time to roll, heck those days I might just stay in bed a bit longer or get up and fix breakfast and go back to bed for a few hours.
Fact is every day is a new day every day is a day these steps work in my life If I choose to use them, things happen through the day that I have to grab hold of this program and work it into my life, or rather my life into the program, its a continuous job of practice until it becomes nature, and things still go against my nature believe me
Good share Alyqat you sound happy and that's part of what this is so all about
Thanks for sharing that alygat, you are an inspiration.
yes Vin, Im going thru a moment of discomfort myself. |I should have been more vigilant and applied and got a placement for my post study apprenticeship. But I let it hang on and now Im faced with the prospect of losing about 2500 dollars that I'd paid for my placement work. So now Im considering options and also analysing whether it is God's way of saying to take it easy and go back to my own home and family in India. |Life's a real bitch at times, and each day seems to be bringing up a new challenge. Wonder what would happen to an addict like me if I had no NA Program !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Wow, that is so inspiring! I am really just starting to work the first step, so I can't picture being where you are now, but I'm really glad for you. :)
mary, it is awesome that you are embarking on this journey... the joy and miracles start to come early on; I surrendered to this program and took all the suggestions as if my life depended on it, which it did and still does... if you do this the miracles happen. Step One is amazing... you are giving yourself a precious gift by building this foundation. Service work helped me feel inspired and happy in the beginning and still does... Try it;) Good luck to you and keep reaching out.
Lee, thanks!! $10,000 worth of dental work due to active addiction.... my smile better be nice LOL I appreciate it ;)
, no responsibilty's to anyone, no stress of work or having to be some where at a specific time, just free time to roll, heck those days I might just stay in bed a bit longer or get up and fix breakfast and go back to bed for a few hours.
