Narcotics Anonymous

Welcome to the Miracles In Progress Group of Narcotics Anonymous! This is not an official NA site, nor is it endorsed by the NA World Service Office.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Newbie in Recovery
Post Info TOPIC: Newbie in Recovery
MizMary


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 6
Date:
Newbie in Recovery
Permalink  

Hi, I'm Mary.  I am an addict, and new to this board.

Back in May, I attended my first NA meeting, then about a week later got laid off from my job & my husband had major surgery.  The oxycontin and norco and percocet was originally for my chronic pain  and were easy to get when my husband was in the hospital because I stole his medication too (something I'm not proud of).  (He also has chronic pain and has always been able to take his medication correctly, which I sometimes feel bitterly jealous of).

Long story short, (and there is a lot in between which I don't really want to go into right now), I am 7 days clean.  I ended up on a 24 hold almost a week ago because of my self-destructive behavior, resulting in my husband calling the cops, and I was able to get some (non-addictive) medications prescribed to help with the withdrawals.  The only reason I didn't stay at the mental hospital longer is because I wouldn't be able to get my unemployment which is my family's only income right now (how sad is that)?

It is so hard to imagine life without the drugs; not only was I medicating my physical pain (and I would have had to do something else anyway because they weren't working anymore), but I was also masking the psychological pain (I have PTSD & Bipolar disorder).  At any rate, I am looking for support everywhere I can find it--getting to meetings is tough sometimes because I don't always have transportation, but I am finding rides or taking the bus and going to as many as possible. Also, I am trying to read everything I can get my hands on on-line and find boards like this & attend meeting whenever I can. 

Sorry for the rambling--thanks in advance for your support.  I really commit myself to recovery this time because taking drugs has slowly killed my spirit and was taking away my life, and they were fun at first, but not anymore.

__________________
cleanNOTsober


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 31
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Mary! Welcome to the board. Stick around, there's a lot of great people here.

Yeah, those dang drugs are always fun in the beginning and then they take everything over. I think that your best bet is to get to as many meetings as you can. There is nothing like a face to face with another recovering addict.

Hey, I've been in recovery for a few Just For Todays. I've got this that and the other health issue, unemployed, and on welfare. And you know what puts a smile on my face each and every day? The knowledge that I did not use today.

Today I Am Clean!! And YOU are too!!!

__________________
Keep The Faith*
Robb
MIKEF


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2704
Date:
Permalink  

Hey Miz Mary!
Welcome to the site.congrats on 7 days clean.,its a BIG  deal!Lot of folks here willin to share things have helped them and things that havent.Ditto I would say on meetings ,but I would also suggest looking  for a sponsor,try service if your able(make coffee,be a greeter, set-up,etc, helps you get to know people little more.,eventually "work the program(12/12)I also suggest finding a home group if you can.I usually pick up people on way to meetings and am glad to do so..Projection of things to come,can also be one of our worst enemies,we try to stay in the day(sometimes the hour ,sometimes the minute) Look to get a Basic Text ,read up on "MORE WILL BE REVEALED" 5th edition,pg 98-99,gives insight to addicts who have "valid" needs for medication etc. Hope to hear back from you,I dont hear you rambling we call that sharing as if your life depended on it!!!  Just for today you dont have to use! peace mikefsmile

__________________

Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 
BigV


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 3718
Date:
Permalink  

WECLOME Mary and glad you have made a decision to stop the madness, well at least stop using we all have the madness at times and we are works in progress.

I agree with the others who have shared its one day at a time we stay clean and try to be serene once you get past this tough times things will level outand then it may crop up again and that is what we prepare ourselves for , to be emotionally ready when life STRIKES its hot iron on our lives or we scroo up and make a mistake and our world seems torn apart, its ok, we stay clean and walk through it all without using.


Welcome you to recovery it is a wonderful thing.

__________________
It's all about spirituality...
MizMary


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 6
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you cleanNOTsober, MIKEF and BigV for your support. I was able to get to a meeting last night which really helped.  I kind of feel like getting past that seventh day was a big milestone although I didn't think that way until this morning (although the blurry vision and yawning can go away anytime! I keep having to tell people I'm not squinting & yawning at them because I am about to fall asleep.)

I was wondering if those of you with more experience than I could recommend specific NA books to start with.  I do have the blue book, but are there others you found particularly inspirational at the start?  (I am a big reader, so books are good for me. :)  )

__________________
MIKEF


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2704
Date:
Permalink  

Hey Mary!
glad meeting perked you up,good to hear that.I personally spend as much time reading scripture(as my faith beliefs lead me to)but also 'JUST FOR TODAY" AND ALSO Big Book OF AA and One day at a time.Again working and living spiritual principles are my main focus with that of "not using ever"I believe Vinny and Dean seem to have a lot of references in their reporatoire.Im sure they will send you some info and referrals.Have a great day,good to hear back from ya.peace mikefsmile



__________________

Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 
Manon


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1080
Date:
Permalink  

welcome home

__________________

 Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
Og Mandino

BigV


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 3718
Date:
Permalink  

I've like the online audio files here's a few links to some


http://listen.to/recovery



http://www.carrythemessage.com/static/wedorecoverondemand.htm




http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=11


__________________
It's all about spirituality...
LeeU


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 573
Date:
Permalink  

Hey MizMary...welcome...you're not the only one here with co-occurring disorders, or dual diagnosis-whatever ya wanna call it. Just FYI, here's a link to Dual Recovery Anonymous, which I've found helpful. Also the books on Dual Recovery that are available through Hazelden. Take care. http://draonline.org/

__________________
From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Tahir


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 2406
Date:
Permalink  

Congrats on more than a week clean, what a miracle!

There are 3 specific chapters in Basic Text (Blue Book) that I read when I feel really hopeless staying clean. Also, when I lose touch with reality (which I do even now after being away from using for a few years now) and when everything seems meaningless, reading these chapters gives me strength and hope, helping me find meaning and purpose, and to reaffirm myself to my recovery program. Try these chapters - "What Can I Do", "We Do Recover" and "More Will Be Revealed".

Also, try the green-and-gold NA book "It Works How & Why", it never fails to inspire me smile.gif

And then there are few IPs like "One Addict's Experience with Acceptance, Faith and Commitment", "Self-Acceptance", "The Triangle of Self-Obsession" etc. These help me be problem-specific and address those areas where I feel I need to work on...

__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
MIKEF


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2704
Date:
Permalink  

Hey Tahir!
nice hearing from you,havent talked to you in awhile.hope all is well.keep the faith.peace mikefsmile

__________________

Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 
Tahir


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 2406
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Mike, yes it's been sometime since I logged in here, am so glad to be back at MIP, NA Hugs.

__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
alyqat4


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 176
Date:
Permalink  

smileHi Miz:) So glad you are here and reaching out. I find that turning my will over to my HP in the morning helps me stay clean... Do you have a sponsor yet? (((hugs)))smile

__________________

*Whom shall I fear?*
MizMary


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 6
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks for the encouragement everyone.  After 10 days, I feel like I'm physically getting back to normal, although I had a migraine that lasted a day and a half and that was pretty rough.  I can't take triptans (non-narcotic migraine medications) because they elevate my blood pressure, so I had to make due with excedrin and a dark room.  Migraines are distressing, but at that time it was really hard to think one minute at a time, let alone one day at a time.  But I know I'm not the only recovering addict with migraines and chronic pain, so I will have to learn other ways to deal with it.

Anyway--alyqat, I don't have a sponser yet.  I have been trying to get to as many meetings around town as I can and I am trying to find someone to connect with, but I have been doing a lot of reading, which has helped.  I'm also working on finding a job (got laid off in June), which has been a bit frustrating with the economy (ain't that true for everyone?)  I'm just thankful my body is finally (mostly) feeling back to normal because that helps A LOT.

Thank you to all of you.  You inspire me.

__________________
Girl_in_Theory


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 13
Date:
Permalink  

I completely understand about feeling "Bitterly Jealous" over your husbands ability to take his medication properly.
My ex-boyfriend was always able to stick to a schedule, no matter how powerful the drug, perscribes, or recreational. You are not alone, there.


__________________
salvagable


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Date:
Permalink  

Keep it up girl , there's no turning back now, I know times are hard, but they can be harder if you turn back now , so keep doing what your doing things will get better, just keep the faith so you can be  ready when they do improve...

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Newbie in Recovery
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us