I learned more about myself today

BigV · Senior Member

I learned more about myself today

MIKEF · Guru

Hey BigV! MikeF here
Well it looks to me like you should probably in this case do what LeeU suggests.do TOFRUTTI!..What the heck is Tofrutti???Hey you know that Narcissistic thing must be catching cause I got a large dose of it also..Peace my friend enjoy this day!

rumblefish · Veteran Member

it's a disorder? (see new thread)

cleanNOTsober · Veteran Member

News Flash: Recovery Found In Strange Place

At approximately 03:15 hrs Eastern today, BigV discovered an interesting thing about himself and his recovery. The strangeness can be found in the fact that the discovery was made in the online info mega-site, wikipedia.

Officials at wikipedia were not available for comment at this time. Pictures (with faces blacked out) at 11.

BigV · Senior Member

LMAO ok ok i'm serious I am very ILL my girlfriends left me and now day later I am feeling the BLOOOZZZZzzzz.

I have such major mood swings usually depends upon just how fatigued I am , if I need to rest and dont get it I cant recharge and my mind goes nutzo. I shared last night in the online meeting and got a few things out but honestly i feel like a mess and a pretty bad person today, very sad about this. hmm

BigV · Senior Member

I think its time i looked into anti depressants some sort of SSRI

In the brain, messages are passed between two nerve cells via a synapse, a small gap between the cells. The (presynaptic) cell that sends the information releases neurotransmitters (of which serotonin is one) into that gap. The neurotransmitters are then recognized by receptors on the surface of the recipient (postsynaptic) cell, which upon this stimulation, in turn, relays the signal. About 10% of the neurotransmitters are lost in this process; the other 90% are released from the receptors and taken up again by monoamine transporters into the sending (presynaptic) cell (a process called reuptake).

To stimulate the recipient cell, SSRIs inhibit the reuptake of serotonin. As a result, the serotonin stays in the synaptic gap longer than it normally would, and may be recognized again (and again) by the receptors of the recipient cell, stimulating it.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME biggrin

BigV · Senior Member

I have been listening to Jimmy K speak on an online audio tape and he described me while describing himself WHAT A TRIP he had a profound experience spiritually very similar to what I had an actual spoken discussion with his higher power. HE felt and described pretty much how i have felt going through this process and how he felt about himself was right on target of how I feel about myself.

Sure helps to listen to others share when others have already gone through all the things we may be going through and how they dealt with those issues and times.

The tape was made in 1982 the Jimmy K speaker meeting its 2 parts.

http://listen.to/recovery

-- Edited by BigV on Sunday 26th of July 2009 12:04:53 PM

LeeU · Guru

Tofutti is ice cream made from tofu. And yes, it's actually pretty tasty...if you had an ice cream cake made with it u wouldn't have a clue it wasn't from Baskin Robbins.

Vin-I will share that I am on an SSRI, which was selected by a primary care physician in consultation with my psychiatric practicioner, and the doctor is also an addictionologist and expert in relapse prevention and pain management in recovery. In other words, I am in good hands and able to TRUST (so important) that they know what they are doing. And because I do trust the expertise of my providers, I do what is recommended and this has saved my life, more than once, IN sobriety. I have had episodes of really bad functioning even with decades of clean time and talk-therapy alone does not do it for me-the proper medication is a God-send.

PS-and IMHO, if you really were afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I'd doubt you be on this board at all...not enuf opportunity to always turn everything and everyone around to serve ME-ME-ME 24/7, by any means necessary. People would call u out and u'd be long gone, seeking easier victims. LOL-but not really funny.

DeanC · Guru

I identify strongly with 6 of those. I thought it was just my overall great beaming through

Up till now, I've just chalked it up to "a lack of humility"

BigV · Senior Member

You might be right I might just have a milder case I think its more inline with PTSD but whatever I feel as long as I am aware of it and working on it and stay clean things will happen that get me past this point I have broken many barriers before just have to keep trudging along and not give up or give in.

Hmmm tofu ice cream is it lactose free ? I eat lactose free ice cream not cheap and not all that good tasting I like drumsticks with carmel inside buy a whole box and eat them in 2 days LOL the small amount of ice cream doesn't bother me to much n they tase sooo good i get carried away .

So I need to get some referrals but i dont have a health insurance plan I cant afford one maybe obama and congress will come up with something LOL take from the rich and give to us po folks biggrin

BigV · Senior Member

DeanC wrote:

I identify strongly with 6 of those. I thought it was just my overall great beaming through

Up till now, I've just chalked it up to "a lack of humility"

My girlfriend said I lack humility maybe thats part of it Dean, we are sometimes over the top in some character areas LOL

Raman · Guru

Youre gonna be alrigh big buddy,, just let the damn thing pass.
we need to do what we need to do in recovery and if that means going in for anti-whatever,, so be it.
Actually the Stpes state that once I begin to Meditate all that will be a thing of the past and I won't have to medicate except in case when its indespensible.
And the problem with many mental conditions is that it may not be what we think it is !
the medical world is moving away from making snap diagnosis and are actually more contenet to treat symptoms. The is an attemp to not pigeonhole a patient into this or that mental category.
If you go online, you will be able to read copies of the Diagnostic and Scientific Manual of the American Psychiatric Association.
All the later editions, say from 2009 onwards, show a leaning towards more qualitative, ongoing treatment that dosent leave the patient in a stereotype.

I believe the best thing fr an addict like me is do a ot of written inventory, share with a sponsor or guide and then Meditate !
Because of the 11th Stpe, i come to the conclusion
"Meditate and not medicate !"

cleanNOTsober · Veteran Member

BigV wrote:
I have been listening to Jimmy K speak on an online audio tape and he described me while describing himself

Amazing stuff, isn't it? I've listened to that particular mp3 (and actual cassettes back in the day!) time and time again to the point where I can anticipate the words. But, if I listen real close, and keep an open head about me, I still hear things that make me go, "Yeah, I know that!"

Sure helps to listen to others share when others have already gone through all the things we may be going through and how they dealt with those issues and times.

It always gives me that hope and faith that I can do it too. Addicts who share give truth to the parts in the reading "How IT Works":
... the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel
and
... one addict can best understand and help another addict.

I've got nearly 4 gigs of speaker mp3s on my Zune. Since I've quit smoking, I've taken to walks along the river to listen to these amazing addicts who give me great recovery. hehe, sometimes I need to glance around when a speaker comes on with the famous "Hi! My name is _ _ _, and I am an addict." and I end up going "Hi, _ _ _ !"

For those interested, to add to the link that BigV popped up, here are more speaker links on the web:

http://listen.to/recovery
--- this is BigV's link and it has Real Player files, not mp3. They can be converted with a bit of work and a coupla freeware programs ---

http://www.carrythemessage.com/static/wedorecoverondemand.htm
--- A great site with complete NA History Conferences. Perfect if you want info on NA's past ---

http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=9
--- Nice collection of "Lone Ranger" speakers. I strongly suggest a listen to Greg P from 1988. 21 yrs ago, when I 1st came into NA recovery, and it still rocks me to listen to it ---

http://www.intherooms.com/library/speaker/view?filter=NA
--- You NEED to sign up for an account with In The Rooms to get to these speakers, but I do suggest it. There are over 400 speakers to "almost" make ya say, "Man, I don't need to go to meetings no more!!" ...hehe, almost! ........................................................................................................

---

http://nachatroom.org/content/speakers.php?id=18#active
--- A cool site where you can listen to the speakers thru streaming. Or download 'em for later "listening enjoyment"!! ---

As with any big downloads over the internet, one would best have a hi-speed connect. Otherwise, y'all be as old as me by the time you get it d/l'ed! ..

..

-- Edited by cleanNOTsober on Monday 27th of July 2009 03:32:01 PM

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