Thank you. I am hoping someone will see this and have a solution I am not yet seeing. I do have faith and do my best to practice my steps in all my affairs. I'll keep checking in regualrly.

hey, i got an idea!why not attend the meetings, here, online!

i know it can be maddening

but everybody tries to follow the "in-person"
protocol

hooray,  we can!

Really curious--how come the internet isn't an option? Pardon my ignorance, if Albania just doesn't have service-I thought all of Europe did. Maybe some old-fashioned pen pals?

Albania does have internet access in places like coffee shops. Very few people own computers in their homes. The monthly income level there is to poor to do so. Although I could on occassion go to a coffee shop it is not something I can do on a regular basis. I don't believe I am "painting myself into a corner" at all. I do not have a desire to use. Staying here may not be an option. I am married to an immigrant who is being sent home. I am grateful for everyone's responses. I posted this to see if there was anyone who had experience in living some where without NA to turn to. I have considered starting meetings there. However it's not the US and the understanding of addiction is much different than here. I am trying to do the footwork to stay clean there.
Hugs
Jackie

-- Edited by oniongirl82 on Saturday 25th of July 2009 02:00:48 PM

oniongirl82 wrote:

---

Albania does have internet access in places like coffee shops. Very few people own computers in their homes. The monthly income level there is to poor to do so. Although I could on occassion go to a coffee shop it is not something I can do on a regular basis. 

---

Glad that we got you past the "internet is not an option" perception
Sounds like, from your negative slant on this, that you really don't want to go to
Albania, and of course not going is definitely an option.  When you said "I DO" that doesn't include having to move to a 3rd world country because your spouse has to.
I'd tell him to have a safe trip and call me when you get back stateside.  You are only going on this trip because you want to.  Convincing yourself that you "Have to" go is merely text book codependency. 

 

Also, you never know, maybe there's going to be a NA meeting in Albania in near future, started by you

Thank you all so much for your suggestions. I did plan on notifying the world office in Europe (Belgium) before I left to get their news letters. I'm already getting e-mail meetings sent to me. The internet isn't much of an option though. It will cost to much to do it on any sort of a regular basis. I am aware as my sponsor keeps telling me that I may be the one to start NA in Albania. I do plan to take my literature and speaker tapes. I don't want to use and pray everyday. I did consider going to AA, GA, SA, OA or whatever I have to go to for a meeting. Unfortunatley I have not been able to locate any other fellowships there. I have done internet searches and asked around to members of other fellowships. Thanks for the unconditional love.
Hugs
Jackie

Hey Jackie, pardon me for being rather direct. I'm only concerned about you and your program. My comments put those concerns first. You probably have a good program, but I have now idea how dependent you are on meetings (which is neither good or bad it just is). Some of us have enough program on board, and daily routines that can keep us clean with scant meetings face to face. I'm one of those people that maybe only went to a half a dozen meetings (or less) a year from years 7-17. Now I go to maybe a dozen a year, but I'm very active here and a moderator next door on the AA site. I also talk to many of my old recovery friends on a weekly basis by phone and email. continued to have a sponsor who is one of these old friends.
If you are pretty dependent on your meetings, and your recovery social network who you see regularly, then I think it will be somewhat difficult for you to adjust. My biggest concern is if you begin to get depressed over there and it has some kind of strain on your marriage, it could be a big trigger for a relapse. Relapse amongst those with more than 5 years is usually caused by relationship issues. Another concern that I have is the cultural differences between you and your husband. So far, it's been on your "playing field" home country, town etc... Now you'll be going to his "playing field" which will be an "away game" for you. I've read a lot of stories about these cross cultural marriages with a move to that husbands country and resulting in huge changes in the way that the husband acted due to local cultural customs. Many of those examples were in middle eastern countries were the husbands are allowed to beat the wives. . If I went, I'd research my legal rights (as a wife of a national), keep my passport with me at all times, know where (have the phone #) and how to get to the US Embassy, and have a paid plane ticket home or at least to a Western European country. I know that you probably think that I'm overreacting but the unthinkable only happens to those who don't have contingency plans. Take care of yourself and your recovery.

Dean

-- Edited by DeanC on Thursday 30th of July 2009 09:24:27 PM

I am happy to know you are going to Albania. Unfortunately I am not there currently. I don't have an exact date or even know for sure if I am going. We are waiting for the latest verdict on our court case. There is a very strong possibility that my husband will have to return home. If that happens then I will of coarse go with him. I would love to meet with you if you ever happen to be there when I am. My husband is from Shkodra. Tirana is the capital and he is about 2 hours driving from there. Except most people don't have cars there. I know NA is pretty established in Greece and have soem english speaking meetings in their capital city Athens. Although I hear crossing the border can be difficult as you are crossing into another country. If you get there before me please let me know what you think of the country. I am interested to hear people's experiences ther who are in recovery. My e-mail address is oniongirl82@yahoo.com or I am on Facebook where you can also use my e-mail address to find me.
Hugs
Jackie

Dean,
After September 11, (actually April of that year) Americans allowed George Bush to change current immigration policies. It is no longer that if you marry a citizen you get an automatic stay. The government does not care that we are married and would like to plan our future together. Unless a miracle happens he will be sent home. However, I don't know if that's really God's will for me. I am not new to recovery but not here quite as long as you. Honestly I wasn't 100% sure of what to post for my initial comment. It's a risk letting people know about my situation. I have to reach out for the help but there is no guarantee that what I say here, will stay here.
Hugs
Jackie

thanks for the facebookl link jackie, thanks indeed !

I'd certainly love to go there and keep you informed about how things there are really.
Just the sort of thing I like doing for another recovering addict Jackie.

I also want to point out that God is always answering prayers. There is an old adage about prayer which says
"there are more things wrought of prayer than the human mind can ever imagine".
I am certain that your prayers will be answered and you and you hubby will live happily ever after !

Hey Raman, your right, I got carried away and I edited my post.   I actually thought of you when I hit the post button and thought of editting right then, but I instantly thought of the posts in our AA board by a woman, who lives in India, named Nisha. She posted on our board for about 6 months in '07 and in several of her posts she talked about the harm that might come to her if some folks in her town knew that she was an alcoholic, just because she was a women. Here's a link to her "topics started" page. "Drifting away" was one of those threads. http://aa.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42735&p=28&memberID=740791



-- Edited by DeanC on Thursday 30th of July 2009 09:52:28 PM

-- Edited by DeanC on Saturday 1st of August 2009 10:25:49 PM

Last night, strangely enough, I tuned into a channel that gives a better perspective on how much the west still needs to do to liberate their women.
Two young British girls and their moms went to Holland to visit contacts in their age-group.
The purpose was to find out how those girls felt about losing their virginity. All of them aein the 16 plus age-group.
They go there and talk to the Dutch girls andtheir mthers and all agree that whatever hapens ,it is best to be communicative with the mothers.

Then next, something happens that completelky shatters the English girls. they are taken to the brothel district of Amsterdam, they meet a long term brothel keepr and discuss why women are kept behind glass as displays of the wares of the brothel.
The Dutch brothel keepr justifies that as a business where no one is forced but the English girls rmain unconvinced. They think it is filthy thing that women are still treated like this.
And later on the comentator adds that this is a scene to be found in every city in Europe, which has by and large legaiized prostitution.

So all is not very welll in the west either, regarding womens emancipation !

I hope her fear is inded imagined Dean and she will be able to put that aside and go on with this business of recovery, if one may describe it like that.
 I also hope that if she is indeed from those little bigoted towns that are still plauging Indian development, she will find the courage to face thte odds and take her revenge by staying clean and sober ! 

I have seen instances in India where women were blamed for bringing disgrace to the family because of their drinkin/ drugging. I suppose that is because it went against the grain of women being seen as supportive, virtuous and forebearing members of the family system. And yes, some were lost to that onslaught never to be seen in meetings again. But the bright part is that many are now living examples of recovery, and to me, they are Miracles In Progress. 

They are an inspiration to me in my recovery and are clear proof that women indeed are the stronger, hardier sex, and they are capable of overcoming the most unfavourable conditions and the most overwhelming odds. !
 
My mother is a classic example of the hardy,forebearing, strong Indian women. She comes from a family where the ather and two brothers lived and died as alcoholics.  Her mother was a compulsive debtor who saw it as a necessity to keep that big family going.Then being the eldest of six sisters she had to endure the madness and power drives of most of them, especialy the three that have been American citizens for nigh on 30 years now.
 
Her husband, my father was an alcoholic, though we do give him the distinction of being a genleman alcoholic who never abused us children or touched  mother in anger. For that i am greatful too but he lived an alcoholics life, drinking  himself silly most nites and neer being a real faher to me, except for encouraging me to get high. The bright part is that Pa did see six months of sobriety. He stopped drinking after a heart bpass and stayed that way till the kidneys claimed his life, all of 72 years old. 

Then there is my younger brother, on and off sobriety in AA for almost 10 years now, and inspite of liver and heart complaints carries on, tryin t drink like a gentleman. Then theres me, an addict that my mother had to cope with every day of her life except when I was away on tour. She stood by me in addiction, she gave me a great hand in the bad marriage and resulting divorce and now she is the sole keeper of my darling NA baby for the past one year. The abuse that I heaped  heaped on her she has forgiven, and she is very happy for my  recovery. 

And through all of this, this woman has never drank,deserted or disgraced our family in any way. She could easily have desetred us when she wentt live in the US and Canada few years ago with her sisters, but did'nt, would have been against her true nature.
 
If indeed I have witnessed a Goddess in living form it would be Ma. I dont know what would have happened to me if she was'nt there to communicate with, both in addiction and in recovery. The most important thing is that in all these years, no matter how much I learn, Ive never been able to win an angry arguement against her. It's like coming up against a wall of some sort each time I try to win a war of words, and wisdom of this Program has given me insight that each time I was disturbed and angry with her, there has been something the matter with me really. 

I believe she is the stronger person. Inspite of everything hat her life has been in regards to family and self-mage,,she has never acted out any addiction at all; I can say that with confidence.  Moreover she has been an examplle of service to family and friends. And she gave to society by being host to young kids at her day care centre for 30 years ,
 
Dean, this conversation with you has opened new spaces in my psyche; I believe that you have facilitated an appreciation of someone I love very much, but have'nt really been able tp express that love on a person to person basis for the past year, being away from her ! 

Thanks. 

And as for Nisha,I pray that wherever she is, she will find a way to live, survive and be in recovery. God keep her well,,,

-- Edited by Raman on Friday 31st of July 2009 09:51:31 AM

Hugs back Jackie! I wish you peace