ok i have a problem right now because i think a girl told me a fib but not to sure i like this girl and shared my feeling with her and thought she was cool about it but tonight i think i over heard how she lyed to me and it makes me very mad when lyed to by anyone.. i just want to know what anyone thinks about what they think i may do to solve this problem other that doing step work cause i about to do that
i would suggest forgiveness(not holding resentment)so you also may be forgiven if needed and move forward.as Raman said..accept the things we cannot change..keep comin back,....peace!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Thats a fab suggestion Mike,,,, moving on,,,, thanks for mentioning it. and tho that comes comes hard for an all or nothing addict like me, each time Ive let go and moved on Ive had better things happen to me.
My takes also that it aint worth messing ma head up for a chick !!!
In fact the Basic Text also says to me to let people be who they are without casting a judgement on em !!
Tried and tested by this addict,, Im a recovering addict when Ive learnt to move on and to stay i9n the pain is a still suffering addict,, I choose the first option,,by God !! Yes I do !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Hmmmm...you say you "...think..." she told you a lie, but you are not sure, and you "...think..." you overheard something.
Well, do you only think these two things happened, or do you actually know, for sure?
Because if you only think so, but you do not really know for a fact, then you may be jumping to conclusions, and the conclusions might be wrong.
Plus if being lied to is a trigger that gets you especially mad, even just thinking that you were lied to is going to muddy the waters because you'll already be good and mad before you even know what the deal is.
If it were me, and I was not sure, I'd check it out directly. I'd tell the person what I think I heard and confront the situation. I'd trust my gut at that point as to whether I am getting back the truth. My next move would be based on whatever I thought the truth was at that point.
If there was no lie, then I'd work on getting better communciation going with the person. But if I was lied to, I'd definately scrape my shoe and move on.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
well i was not the only one who heard what i heard and i did confronted her but it was only in text i really wanted to talk to her but that has not happen and i think i am just not going to talk to here unless she talk to me first and others think she lied too so i think the best thing is to keep my distance from her
None of us arrived in narcotics anonymous brimming with honesty! People lie, people do what people do. I've learned to understand and accept that it's really very rare that they are doing it "to me", they just do what they do.
Have you ever lied to anyone? Do you want to be forgiven for that? If I want to be forgiven, I might try forgiving... It's very liberating!
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The truth does not change based on my inability to stomach it - Flannery O'Connor
My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations - Michael J. Fox
well i dont know if i forgive but i kinda under stand why she would lie but i have decided to keep m distance from her she has to come to me if she wants to talk or what ever
yes shorty,, I believe you have chosen the correct option. IMHO,, thru guidance in the Fellowship, to tell a lie is dis-honest. This is the exact nature of wrong. When I am the wronged I can either do a forgive and forget and move on, or use all sorts of rationalizations to try and "understand" the other persons point of view. When I try to live up to non-existent virtues, I make a real fool of myself, thereby Im actually aiding and abetting anothers dishonesty. Ive been at the recieving end of dishonesty and no matter what analysis I may do now, I find that by hanging on after knowing it, without confronting it was wrong on my part. "Step away" has been good advice for me; it came from members here who had nuff bad experiences with that. "The pain of loving you has been better than the pain ofnot loving you; but finalyy I need to admit that the pain of not carrying on with tis love affair may be better than having to go thorugh all that again." Id sent a mail to me ex-girlfriend to that effect,,,in the meanwhile Id practiced in my mind and by writing down how Id let go with love and move on,,,been a fab decision, God inspired I believe ~!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
