since i haven't been on in a week or so i was reading through all the threads and hearing of people trying to kill themselves with OD makes me really happy to know that i am still here. life is tough. and it sucks but you have to try and make the best of it, i guess. i mean treatment sucks. i hate it but i know if i don't stick it out then i will never make it. NA is a true f**king blessing. i mean it.
ps. someone posted a song by the goo goo dolls and i havent stopped listening to them all day.
Hey Liz, I'm grateful that you are in treatment again. I'm praying for you to turn the corner and be happy. Life is a beautiful thing. It's what's between our ears that make it seem ugly. It's only an illusion that we create, and we can create beauty instead. Here's to beautiful thoughts coming your way.
i was in treatment inpatient in seattle, wa. when i was there it sucked. i have a year clean now and look back and in every way it was a blessing, it always sucks in the moment. i now have a beautiful duaghter and wonderful husband thanks to the 12 step program.. i let go and let my higher power while i was inpatient. I was always having one foot in tomorrow worrying about people places and things i could not control and was always held the other foot in yesterday beating myself up w/ the past and ended up pissin all over today...now i enjoy serenity and can just be in my moment, that is the only thing that i can control is me and my attitude. god bless you you are worth it, stick it out!
hey DG, glad to hear your in treatment, ive had plenty of times where ive said the same thing...glad that you want to stick to it though. as much as you may not like it now, think of it as your own saftyhouse. meaning you can use the time in there for just you, dont have to worry or think about anything else thats going on outside the room you are in at that givin moment. ive been withdrawing for sometime now at my place due to me abuseing my county funding (going into rehabs when i had no cash only to come out and go right back to my old ways, manipulating everyone/anyone, the whole system... so they said i already used up all my detox/rehab days). take advantage of where you are. ive read alot of the old posts here my first two-three days of WD and (like i said before) felt like i knew some of you just from what ive read, and to be honest, i heard alot of myself in some of your posts and actions, you sound very bright, i wish i had the sense to understand addiction when i was your age, you have alot of great years ahead of you, enjoy every day of every one, i wish you all the best...
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we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain, but what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane
its not that i hate this treatment program specifically. i just hate being in treatment in general. thanks for the kid rock song dave! ;) and congrats Anny. im still afraid of if i can handle myself.
part of this growth and recovery thing is growing up and becoming our own parent.
When I get in an uppity mood, I just look in the mirror and tell myself to stfu and settle down. I works well and I call it rudimentary self discipline.
Dean
-- Edited by DeanC on Wednesday 10th of June 2009 08:09:24 PM
-- Edited by DeanC on Wednesday 10th of June 2009 08:10:06 PM
BEING AWARE OF FEAR AND THEN ACCEPTING IT IS IMPORTANT. I THEN ASKED MYSELF IS THAT FEAR FOUNDED OR IS IT BROUGHT ON BY ONE OF THE FALSE SELF DEFEATING BELIEF THAT I HOLD ONTO.
thanks everyone. Dean i think im going to start telling myself to stfu. haha. ps - dave that video is AMAZING! and i changed my name. if you havent notice already. i couldnt think of anything good so i just made it plain and simple.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
